Thursday, April 14, 2011


Hi, I've just loaded up the first video of my Poetry Cafe gig from the other week. It includes the poems YOUR APRIL FOOL, YOU DON'T EXIST, CAT THIEF, BAD STUFF I WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU and THE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS...

It can be viewed at either: via Youtube or on Vimeo.

Also - rather lost in my review of the show were links to my other new video: SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN - PART 1

This video can be viewed on Youtube at:

Or on Vimeo at the following link:

Here is another new poem from YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS - one that I also read at The Poetry Cafe on Saturday 2nd April 2011, which was selected by audience member Maggie Hughes. It was actually one that I wrote near the start of the writing for that collection so I'm slightly guilty of having forgotten it a bit - especially as I've written another book and a half since writing the contents for YETI HUGS. Anyway, it's called WE'RE AN ITEM NOW and it can be read below.

More news soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


We’re an item now...
So what do we do?
Simply go out to dinner –
Or just stay in to screw?
We could maybe do both –
‘Cos it’s all about timing...
Our love is more about fun –
Than it is social climbing!
But we spent many months –
Every breath we were flirting!
But now I’m holding you close –
It’s still quite disconcerting!
But we’re an item now –
So you can do what you like...
You can ravish me, freely!
So come on baby, strike!!

We’re an item now...
So what should come next?
Should we try cyber sex –
Or would you rather just text?
We can take turns at each –
If you think t’would be nice...
Are my whispered sweet nothings –
Your idea now of spice?
May I call you my love?
May I flatter you meekly?
May I swoon in your arms?
Once a month; even weekly?
‘Cos we’re an item now...
So, what will every day bring?
You are mine; I am yours!
Your insatiable plaything!!

We’re an item now...
It’s a cool place to be!
May I hold tight your hand?
Might I fondle your knee?
Slip your head by my neck –
Let me massage your arm...
Well, a bottle of red...
That’s my i-dea of charm!
I will try hard to be –
Your glad servant adoring...
There on call hand and foot –
Not out boozing nor whoring!
Yes, we’re an item now...
It’s a big deal, no doubting...
I want you all full of smiles...
Not down-hearted nor pouting!

We’re an item now...
That’s the deal; you and I...
I’d like to snog off your face;
Well, at least let me try!
I’m so glad that we met –
You and I surely suit...
I’m so lucky I’ve met –
Someone so hella cute!
Come elope with me, love –
I would feel oh-so humble...
On our own desert island –
Let us frolic and fumble!
We’re an item now –
Pile our love on in heaps...
Yes, every kiss is incredible –
‘Cos we’re in this for keeps!

WE'RE AN ITEM NOW appears in Paul's recent collection YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS which was published in late March 2011. All content included in this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011.