Wednesday, March 31, 2010



First off  I'm going to briefly mention my spoof B-movie series, SUTTON PARK SW1 - simply because I showcase my SOUPCON OF SHY YETI book as part of the plot. This hasn't been the first mention of my poetry in the show since it came back; as it is now part of the history of the character that I play; which is a fictional version of myself. Part 5 has my latest book showing up and causing a time anomoly!! It's true... I can't really explain it any more than that because it is simply extremely daft. The poetry spoof-sci-fi action continues into Part 6, due to be posted somewhen in April.

Here is the link to Part 5 where the book shows up for the first time:

As promised I will also be posting up a few new poems (approx one a week) from the new DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS collection, which is due out in early May. There will also be a new poetry video during April to highlight the arrival of the new book, which is currently in the final stages of proofreading.

This week's poem is called YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP, which takes the idea of being a pin-up to the most absurd levels...

I hope you like it - they'll be more soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


Now, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for some action!
You’ve a face for bedroom walls –
And there’s an obvious attraction…
You shouldn’t be at all surprised –
If you soon break a million hearts!
Or become the centre of attention –
For horrid hate-mail or for darts!
Because you can’t predict responses –
Be they fuelled by love or hate…
Yours may be a face they puke at –
You may be their one dream date!
So, if you’d like to be my pin-up…
Take your place upon my wall!
I’d be honoured now to host you –
It is my pleasure; not at all!!

Oh, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for a job!
Pin yourself upon my wall –
But you will have to shut your gob!
You will have to keep it buttoned –
Gurn inanely nine to five!
If your adhesive loses stick –
Then you may have to take a dive!
Also, stuck up by the window –
You must be a little crafty!
Wear some insulated pants –
In case it gets a little draughty!
You can be my lucky charm!
You can be next week’s big face!
Just be my pin-up of the moment –
Before you vanish without trace!

So, you could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some fun…
Upon the wall you may diminish –
Or soon be faded by the sun…
Over time you may grow tatty –
Or be tarnished by a tear…
May become a fashion victim –
With your awful noughties hair!
It’s just something you must live with –
Or it could be your sad undoing!
Just accept that you’ll be patched up –
Or may need a spot of gluing!
Yes, that’s the sad fate of the pin-up…
Don’t it feel like time just flew!
Soon you’ll feel like you’re forgotten –
To be replaced by someone new!

Hey! You could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some work…
You can sit upon my desk –
Just simply grinning like a berk!
Yes, still there upon my calendar –
With your cheeky little smile…
Simply staring at me working –
Not ever resting for a while…
You can weigh down all my clutter –
You can be my sticky tape!
You can be my paper clip –
Or wear an outfit made of crepe!
You’ll still be my favourite person –
Even when you’re long since gone…
You’ll still be my special pin-up!
You’ll always be my number one…

YOU CAN BE MY PIN-UP is Copyright Paul Chandler 2010.