Sunday, January 04, 2009


Hello and welcome to 2009 - the 7th year of this blog and also the 101st post.

I'm happy to announce that the new collection: IF POEMS WERE PIES... should be ready by the start of March; hopefully in time for my first gig in London. More about that soon!

Anyway - the new book contains 62 new compositions and the one I'm posting here is, not only, the 62nd and final piece - but also the first poem I've written in 2009; completed this very day!

Anyway - it's called CAT THIEF and it's about... Well, just read on and you'll see!

I hope you enjoy it!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


I’m a Cat Thief –
I am also a cat!
I like stealing kippers –
And stuff like that!
I like beef –
I like turkey too...
But I ain’t gonna pay for it!
Hey! What you gonna do?
I’m a pick pocket –
Of a feline kind...
You better keep away from crowds;
Or else you might just find;
That your wallet’s gone –
Or that your handbag’s nicked!
‘Cos I’ve a talent for theft;
Yeah, me and crime just clicked!!

I’m a Cat Thief –
I am a felonious moggy!
I might steal your mac;
And leave you cold and soggy!
I mew loud –
But I’m full of sass –
I’m a pussy cat pirate;
Yes, I’m so bad ass!
You’ll never catch MEOW-out!
Cos, I’m mean and slinky –
And my breath is fresh;
No, me never stinky!
I’m a master criminal –
And, no, I’m never caught!
But should you give me trouble –
I’ll give you claws for thought!

I’m a Cat Thief –
I’m a wheeler dealer!
I’m more scandalous –
Than Christine Keeler!
Now you’re being catty!
Still, I’ll never fail!
If you try to protest –
I’ll tie you up with my tail!
If you leave food out –
I will steal your burger!
I’m not just a Cat Thief –
Also a Cat Burglar!
You may think you’re clever –
But I’ll not be out-witted!
To a life of crime –
I am superbly fitted!

I’m a Cat Thief –
I am also a cat!
I like stealing knickers –
What d’you think about that?
I’m not a thug –
No, I never get rough!
But I may steal your clothes –
And leave you in the buff!
No, you won’t see my coming –
No, there’s no time to shout!
Yes, I may leave you wishing –
That you’d not gone out!
I’m no hooligan –
So suave you’re smitten!
Oh, so you’d better beware;
‘Cos I’m a gangster kitten!!