Monday, January 23, 2006


I'm pleased to announce that the release of my next book of poems is about a month away! There's no exact release date yet, but I'm busy putting the finished touches to the book - taking photos and getting comments on the finished selection from our guest editor, Charlie Grrr (see photo above!)

The new book, as I've mentioned before, is called POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and should be available to buy in ultra snazzy form from very soon. It is also possible to buy copies from me if you let me know in advance, but I'll have to charge you the postage it cost me to get them over to me. Anyway - more details when I have them.

This book sees a change in that there should be a lot of black and white photos to illustrate the poems, taken by myself and my friend Neph and featuring Charlie and friends. I am hoping that there will also be a full colour hardback edition of this book - but that might depend on the cost of producing it. The last photoshoot for the book took place on Saturday and Sunday 21st/22nd of January 2006 down by the woods and canals of Byfleet and New Haw and was very successful. The last poem written for the book was also completed last week and I present it for you here.

It's a rather silly piece called ADVERT FOR A TRAINEE SEX SYMBOL...

I hope you enjoy it!

Bye for now!

Paul x


Good day! I'm volunteering,,,
I'm a trustworthy trainee!
I have come about the job...
For it is what I'd like to be!
I couldn't be a superhero -
Because I'm really rather shy!
Whilst there's also the slight problem -
That I never learnt to fly...
But, it's a post that I'm prepared for!
For this position I was born!
I wanna be the next sex symbol...
Although I'm not cut out for porn!
I couldn't be the people's champion...
Or some ambassador devine...
But the role of Top Sex Symbol...
Well, that'd really suit me fine!
I've got a really cool persona -
And a trendy pair of slacks!
I am always on the go -
And I don't take time off to relax!!
I've got a smile to simply melt them...
And a laugh they will adore...
I don't smoke or drink or sleep around -
And neither do I snore!! (yeah right!)
I'm told I've got the sort of eyebrows...
That makes the girls-slash-boys go weak!
I've got baby blues that tempt you...
And say, "Hey hun, come take a peak!"
I've got dimples some would die for...
A hairy chest they'd like to lick!
And I'm not exactly fat!
But I'd not describe me as a stick...
Oh and I'm quite prepared to model...
To play upon my film stars looks!
So I hope you will accept me...
Won't you please, put me on your books?
It all comes natural to me baby...
For I know exactly what to do! (YES!!)
If you stare at me for long enough -
It'll even start to work on you!!

Well sorry sir, you are mistaken...
About the position that is free!
It's not a sex symbol we're looking for-.
But another kind we'd like to see...
There are vacancies for the following...
Which you may wish to take on board!
In the hope that maybe one of them -
Might strike the magic chord!
One part time "Sex euphonium..."
One full time "Sex trombone..."
One flexible "Sex glockenspiel..."
That we can offer out on loan!
One job share "Sex maraca..."
One shift working "Sexual flute..."
One deputy "Sex trumpet..."
We are looking to recruit...
But that is all we need right now, sir...
There's no other jobs to name!
No need for One "Sex cymbal..."
Still, thanks for asking all the same!