Sunday, November 05, 2017

A QUICK UPDATE BEFORE BIRTHING-DAY-NESS...

A RECENT PODCAST EPISODE FROM YETI-LAND...

Hello beasties!

This time it's just a quick little post before I head off on European adventures to celebrate my birthday! I'll be recording out in Italy, of course - so hopefully I'll be photographing, posting and podcasting about the trip over the next few weeks; but first there is a new episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST that leads into all this... Oh... And Mr Deeley using his iPad, apparently...




THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 120: BINGO NIGHT OF TERROR!!

Here we are for episode 120 and it's almost time for Mr Yeti to head away to Italy for his birthday holiday - but the last thing that he plans to do before he goes is to take Dameus Twinklehorn out for the night to help cheer him up after his recent upset with Bettina Du Pres! The team head to the bingo with Nick G and friends - but, of course, things don't quite go as planned... Our next episode, number 121 reveals what has happened to Paul... Did he make it to Italy or is something else going on? Find out soon! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode also includes Mr Yeti's new single "The Swooning", which is not available from any good record shops - because most of them closed years ago. Sound effects by Paul Chandler and Soundbible. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 120 was recorded between 1st September and 31st October 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

120: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-bingo-night-of-terror







Why the photos?

These were just some of the photos that I took the other week as part of a social media photo project that I was challenged to do on Facebook. The original photos were posted in black and white - but I preferred the colour versions and so posted those too. They're all quite random as they were just meant to be a snippet from my day.

Next time we'll hopefully be talking about Verona and Lake Garda - and whatever else I get up to whilst we're away...

I've also posted some new music on Soundcloud that you might want to check out - both tracks will be used in future episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST and from the looks of it Apple have loaded a lot more loops in Garageband, so I'm going to be diving right in!!

Here are the tracks:

DEELEY'S SONG: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/deeleys-song

THE SWOONING: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-swooning

Before we sign off I have some silly limericks for you that I wrote to cheer up an otherwise quite dull moment - they're Halloween-themed, but don't let that put you off... Horror isn't just for Halloween - it's for all year around! Enjoy!

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

P.S. These limericks were written on Monday 30th October 2017, just to keep me awake whilst I smiled and nodded and tried to look interested during a meeting that I was not really required at, but which I'd been called to sit in on just to make up the numbers. As I result of keeping myself distracted and my mind awake I was one of the few people who didn't fall almost completely asleep. Fact.

SHY YETI'S HOME FOR SILLY LIMERICKS


There once was a werewolf named Susan,
Who was always out late, simply cruisin'!
But she was bit by a bat...
Her libido fell flat...
Now she stays in at night, home just boozin'!

There once was a ghoul, who was scary!
He was tall, dark and so very hairy!
But when he married his wife...
Took a less sinister life...
And now he works as a Christmas Tree fairy!

There once was a fiend, quite a growler...
Whose body odour grew fouler and fouler...
Despite his life as a beast...
He was a qualified priest -
So on Sundays was a heavenly howler!

Vampires can be pretty bitey,
I don't mean to sound all high and mighty...
Invite those vamps for a snack...
Then stake them quickly, attack!!
Then - hurrah - you'll be safe in your nightie!

There once was a zombie called Trisha...
Who was part of the undead Militia...
She waged wars, but with style...
To fight those in denial...
Munching brains - such a delicate swisher!

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

A LITTLE SHOW (OR TWO) FOR HALLOWEEN...

MAYBE EVEN TWO LITTLE SPOOKY SHOWS!!

Hello beasties!

This week I am very happy to be able to release a new podcast episode - or maybe two... The first is our official Halloween episode, which I actually recorded back in April, well in advance of Halloween...

Why so early?

The only reason, I suppose, was that I was staying in a slightly spooky house and it seemed as good a reason as any to channel the spookiness of the location! In fact you may remember that I recorded at the same location a number of times in the past...

So here we are - this is the finished episode, as released this weekend......

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 118: SHY YETI'S HORRIBLE HOUSE OF GHOUL... (2017 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)


Here we are for episode 118 - and it's our 2017 Halloween Special!! This time we head into the countryside to share a scary adventure recorded back in the summer; proving that not all Halloween stories take place in October! Paul and Yeti Uncle John return to a literal(!) old haunt but find that not all the ghosts are welcoming!!! Our next episode, number 119 takes place on an apparently normal day at home for Mr Yeti; but of course nothing is ever completely normal on this show! Do join us, won't you? Thank you to Toppie Smellie from The Smellcast for his help with this episode and also to Andrew T from Round The Archives podcast for his assistance. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sounds effects by Shy Yeti. Phone by Soundbible. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 118 was recorded between the 3rd April and 4th October 2017. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

118: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-118-shy-yetis-horrible-house-of-ghoul-2017-halloween-special

Our second episode this time is a sort of unofficial Halloween episode - it's set on Halloween when Mr Yeti is at home attempting to kill time before his housemates return; even Deeley is out on the town! In a way it's also a sort of companion piece to our last live episode - episod 116, although you don't have to have heard it to understand what's going on. Here's some more information on it...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 119: HOME ALONE AT HALLOWEEN...


Here we are for episode 119 - where we find Mr Yeti home alone on Halloween night waiting for his flat-mates to come home; even Deeley is out! Paul is glad to have some listeners to spend his time with and there is time for quizzes, stories and some pre-recorded chattered with Nick G. But eventually Paul's mind begins to wander as to what Cromitty is working on in his laboratory - especially those robots that we previously met in our last live episode, #116. What he finds will send shivers of fear through you and that's no word of a lie!! Our next episode, number 120 sees Mr Yeti and the gang trying to cheer up Dameus Twinklehorn - but things do not quite go to plan!! Do join us, won't you? Thank you to Nick Goodman for his help with this episode. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sounds effects by Shy Yeti. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 119 was recorded between the 17th and 21st October 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

119: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-119-home-alone-at-halloween










Coming up at the end of this post is the five short scenes that I wrote for our Halloween episode between myself and The Cryptkeeper... They were good fun to write and I've just finished some lines for another episode that is due out towards the end of the year. There is one more script that I aim to finish in the next month or so which will probably become part of one of the first episodes for 2018.











I'm not quite sure when our next post will be as I'll be away next week for my birthday... I'll be taking plenty of photos and probably writing a diary, not to mention recording new episodes. It may be that I do a short post before I go of any podcast episodes that I release between now and then - but we shall see!

To finish with, here is the script of the links that I wrote for Andrew T for our Halloween episode. I hope you enjoy it.

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

CRYPTKEEPER SCENE FOR THE SHY LIFE CAST...

This script was written during late August and early September 2017 to be included as links for THE SHY LIFE PODCAST'S Halloween episode to go alongside pre-recorded scenes for this edition...

SCENE 1

To be played right at the start of the episode...

PAUL: (excitedly-introduction voice)

Hello and welcome to a very exciting edition of The Shy Life Podcast! This one has been waiting for you for a while now - we recorded it on location in April as we really wanted to be prepared. Also we wanted to be different and present to you with a Spring ghost story and...

CRYPTKEEPER: (yokel accent, attempting doom)

Note: Mr Trowby. Please adapt any lines to accommodate additional yokelisms.

Ooh ahh. Excuse me, sir! I'm sorry - but you can't record Halloween podcasts there!

PAUL: (disgruntled)

Really? Says who? You? Who have you come dressed as? A bargain budget grim reaper? My goodness - I've heard of austerity, but this is ridiculous...

CRYPTKEEPER: (somewhat sternly)

No... No... No... That is not the case at all - I'm not the Reaper; Grim is actually my cousin... Boy is that one a show off... Young whipper-snapper - flaunting his oopizootics and flashing his impressive blade about! I swear that one day he's going to have somebody's eye out with that thing!

PAUL: (mellowing slightly)

Good grief! It doesn't bear thinking about! So who are you, exactly?

CRYPTKEEPER(proudly)

I'm the cryptkeeper, Dorset branch.

PAUL: (doubtful)

Really? You don't sound especially scary? Are you meant to be?

CRYPTKEEPER: (doing his best yokel Brian Blessed impression)

Don't try me, Madame... I say, don't try me... Run the title music!

PAUL: (initially put out and then resignedly, but in his radio voice)

Hey! That's my line... Oh, for goodness... Go on then... You heard the man! Run the title music! (mutters, impressed) Good grief, listeners... His eyes are actually quite hypnotic! Even on audio!!

The Title Music Plays...

SCENE 2

Before things get going...

PAUL: (still doing his confident podcasting voice)

So, there we go... That was the title music! Moving on now - we have a fear packed new episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST for you today... and... actually... that does sound a little off-putting when I say it like that... Really... It'll be very enjoyable - but because it's Halloween it'll also be a little scary too, maybe... Well, hopefully, I should say - but - you know - in a good way...

CRYPTKEEPER: (interrupting)

Hello! You do know that you can't do that here, don't you?

PAUL: (put out)

I beg your pardon!?

CRYPTKEEPER: (matter-of-fact)

You do know that you can't do that here - that there podcasting... You can't do it here... All I'm telling you is exactly what I told that last lot...

PAUL: (curious)

The last lot of what!?

CRYPTKEEPER:

Of podcasters... From them there Round The Archives podcast...

PAUL: (excitedly)

Oh, I know them... They're very good... I've been on that show, you know... I did the end theme tune...

CRYPTKEEPER: (mutters to self, but Shy overhears)

That explains a lot...

PAUL: (grumpily)

Hey! Don't be mean! Anyway - how come you get to say who stands here anyway...

CRYPTKEEPER: (forcefully)

It's MY crypt! So please - go on your way... I don't want to have to do to you what I did to your podcasting colleagues...

PAUL: (with concern)

Oh, blimey... What did you do?

CRYPTKEEPER: (sounding quite impressed by his own actions)

I don't want to go into it, but let's just say I had to open up a brand new box of rubber spiders and order extra squirty cobwebs once I was done...

PAUL: (quick to make an exit)

Good grief man! There's no need for talk like that! Alright... Alright... I'm going... I presume there must be another spooky graveyard somewhere around here... Come on listeners... Let's go... Moving on...

SCENE 3

This occurs somewhere near the middle of the episode...

PAUL: (doing his radio voice again)

Hello listeners... I hope you're enjoying our Halloween episode - it's terribly spooky, isn't it? We're going to pause for a bit of poetry now... Well, when I say a bit of poetry - don't worry - I am going to read a whole poem... I'm not going to suddenly tail off half-way through... Although I imagine one or two of you would rather that's exactly what I did! There really is no accounting for taste...

CRYPTKEEPER: (surprised)

HEY! YOU! What are you doing here? I told you - you're not welcome!

PAUL: (equally as surprised, but quite casual considering)

Oh! It's you again! The cryptkeeper with the... regional accent...

CRYPTKEEPER: (attempting to scare them)

That be me... I thought I told you to be on your way... Do you want me to dig out a pair of fake devil horns and a rather unconvincing plastic pitchfork to send the fear of the all hallows into you?

PAUL: (hurriedly, with concern)

No! No! Not at all... I'm sorry... I had no idea I'd wandered back into your crypt... I seem to be going round and around here... It's so hard to tell when you're working on audio...

CRYPTKEEPER: (disapprovingly)

Lack-lustre sound effects - that's your problem!

PAUL: (a little sombrely) 

I know! I know! We're just not up to the standard of some shows...

CRYPTKEEPER: (knowingly)

You're no Smellcast, that's for sure... You need to have a word with Toppie Smellie... He'll set you on the right road when comes to sound effects...

PAUL: (surprised)

You know Toppie!?!

CRYPTKEEPER: (casually)

Sure... We play bingo together... We have a fictional childhood together where we play all manner of card and board games...

PAUL: (upset)

You do... You what!?! I'm shocked... Oh! The Horror! The Horror! I thought I was the only one who he had a fictional childhood with... I'm devastated...

CRYPTKEEPER: (chuckling)

I'm only teasing, I was listening to one of your old episodes earlier... Now get out of here you bubble-headed boobie, you - before I set my pack of slightly grumpy chihuahuas on you and your rather meagre audience...

PAUL: (urgently, hurried, moving on...)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh,., Run listeners! Run! Here are some poems...

SCENE 4

Just before the end...

PAUL: (radio voice)

So, that's about all we've got time for this episode... Oh... Just a minute... This place looks familiar... Oh, cor blimey... You'll never guess where we've ended up... 

CRYPTKEEPER: (non-plussed)

Back at my crypt...

PAUL: (embarrassed)

Sorry... Yes... It wasn't intentional... It's just such a lovely creepy location... All the other locations on this show are really low budget... Just mist with a random spot of howling or screaming thrown in... You've actually got gravestones here and some semblance of half-arsed spookiness...

CRYPTKEEPER: (mellowing)

So kind... Ah... Shucks... You do know how to flatter a fella, don't ya, yeti...

PAUL: (slightly awkwardly)

I only speak as I find... Anyway... I suppose we better be going...

CRYPTKEEPER: (now almost friendly)

Oh! Never mind... You're persistent! I admire that! How about a cup of tea and a slice of cake? Do you want to see around my crypt?

PAUL: (excitedly)

Oooh! It's the best offer that I've had all day... Can the audience come too!

CRYPTKEEPER: (overly pleased)

Why, of course! I'm always stocked up on tea bags... Come in! Come in! None of you are ticklish, are you? We have a poltergeist here called Barnaby who has wandering hands...

PAUL: (enthused)

Oooh! Sounds marvellous! Come on listeners... Let's run the end theme tune...

SCENE 5

Right at the very end...

PAUL: (just talking quietly to the listeners)

Hello again listeners... How is your tea? Isn't he nice this cryptkeeper... I knew he wasn't as mean as he made out...

CRYPTKEEPER: (curious but kindly)

What are you saying about me, yeti?

PAUL: (happy)

Ooh! Nothing bad... Just how lovely it's been to have you on the show...

CRYPTKEEPER: (apologetically)

Oh... Well... I'm sorry we got off on the wrong fang...

PAUL: (with affection)

You're a bit of softy really aren't you... Despite your spooky look...

CRYPTKEEPER: (giggles)

Hehe... I am rather... But don't tell anyone, will you?

PAUL: (sincere, hopeful)

I won't... It's fine... What did you think of the episode? Was it scary enough?

CRYPTKEEPER: (blithely)

Oh! I wouldn't know... I don't listen to scary things - I live it - I don't want to hear it in my spare time!

PAUL: (surprised)

You never watch horror films? Not even at Halloween?

CRYPTKEEPER: (keen)

Oh no... It's romantic comedies and anything involving making sponge cakes for me... Do you ever discuss romantic comedies and sponge cakes on your show?

PAUL: (unsure)

Hmm... Not yet... I guess we could... Would you be willing to come back on the show?

CRYPTKEEPER: (dreamily)

I'd love to... You know what I've always wanted to do, yeti...

PAUL: (curious)

No... What?

CRYPTKEEPER: (excitedly)

Play Santa... I've always wanted to do it - the red suit - the beard - the ho,ho,hos - the works...

PAUL: (uncertain)

Really?

CRYPTKEEPER:

Too right! As I say, I'd be prepared to dress up...

PAUL: (resignedly)

Well, I'm sure that could arranged - not that your costume would be too much of a problem on a podcast!

CRYPTKEEPER:

Oh, but I'd HAVE to dress up - that's half the fun...

PAUL: (in agreement)

Alright then... Fantastic! That's a deal... I'm not much of a Christmas person...

CRYPTKEEPER:

Are you not? Oh! I love it...

PAUL:

I love the food, of course... Anyway, let's do it - I'll be in touch...

CRYPTKEEPER: (quite emotional)

Terrific! You've made an old cryptkeeper very happy...

PAUL: (taking control again)

Great! I'm glad. Well, we have to go now... Say goodbye to the listeners please, cryptkeeper...

CRYPTKEEPER: (politely)

You can call me Gordon...

PAUL:

Say goodbye to the listeners please, Gordon...

GORDON: (over-playing it)

Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee listeners...

PAUL: (to audience, lowering voice)

He's really not scary at all once you get to know him...

GORDON: (distant)

What's he saying about me? I'm ever so spooky... Honest I am... (fade out as Paul laughs)


This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.