Sunday, October 30, 2016

FREAK OUT - IT'S HALLOWEEN!!

SETTING FREE OUR INNER GHOUL...

Hello beasties!!

This week we're feeling kind of sinister! Yes, it's...

HALLOWEEN!!!

Which means we're allowed to get all spooky-creepy!

That said, as readers will know I like to watch a good horror film all year around (or often a pretty bad one!), so in a way it's business as usual - only more so!

This week we also have a special spooktacular podcast - but first I'd like to quick announce the release of my new album, MUSIC FROM A SHY PLACE - VOLUME 1, a collection of mainly instrumentals which appear in episodes during the first six months of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST... It is available for £6.99 on Bandcamp and includes 22 tracks, as follows:

MUSIC FROM A SHY PLACE - VOLUME ONE


THE SHY LIFE PODCAST THEME (MY FIRST YETI DANCE)
SINISTER FUNK
A BIT OF A RAVE!!
ELECTRO DUDES (INSTRUMENTAL)
FOUR-EYED GROOVE
GET UP!!
I'VE GOT A MAN
THE 32ND OF MAY
WHERE DID I LEAVE MY KEYS?
YETI RHYTHM
REMAIN
THE LONELY M.P.
CHRYSALIS HEART
DANCING IN THE SHADOWS
FROZEN BEATS
STRINGS ETC.
MY SPIDER PRINCE
THE GHOSTS OF SUMMER
DANCE UNTIL DAWN (80s Remix)
THE CALL OF THE ALIEN
ELECTRO DUDES (VOCALS)
END THEME TO A PODCAST

MUSIC FROM A SHY PLACE - VOL. 1 is available Bandcamp at: https://shyyeti.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-a-shy-place-vol-1

Talking of podcasts - our Halloween episode is also just out!!


THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 30: SAY HELLO TO HALLOWEEN...


Here we are for our feature-length episode THIRTY - it is also our HALLOWEEN edition!! This time we revisit some of our earlier guests to enquire about their favourite Halloween memories... There are also a few Halloween-themed poems, some comments from our regulars and even a spot of ghost-hunting! Thanks to Elaine, Erik, Jay The Hauntcub, Nick and Aly Goodman and Toppie Smellie for their contributions to this show! Our next episode, number 31 - sees Paul and Toby getting out and about around "Hidden London"... Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 30 was recorded between the 23rd July and the 18th October 2016.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:



Also included in this post are some photos of slightly sinister things that I doodled during a meeting recently - not to mention some rather autumn-y views of me out and about in Hampstead whilst recording some introductions for the new Halloween episode...


I've also done a little Halloween piece for this post... It's pretty daft - but then I'm pretty sure that you've come to expect that sort of behaviour from me!


Next week we'll only be days away from my next overseas trip and I've done a special podcast episode to celebrate a birthday... Who's birthday?! Mine, of course!! This also means that I get to talk all about myself (as usual!!) as The Beargrrrian Gazette has been calling up to ask me some questions... Yay!!! (Ahem!!)

Next time I've got a post about another episode of the podcast - plus loads of photos from behind the scenes on recording it!

More soon - take care!

Yeti hugs!

Paul xx


P.S. The following piece was written between Monday 26th and Friday 30th September 2016, with some tweaking done until date of posting.

SOMETHING HALLOWEEN-Y

Random musings on Halloween...

Spooks...
Poltergeists, even...
Okay - maybe that's going a bit far...
Let's take a quick back-step...
Spooks...
Ghosts with chains that rattle...
Angry ghosts...
Ghosts who just received another electricity bill -
But who have been dead for seventeen years...
Of course they're mad about it!!
"You do know that ghosts don't actually have to pay electricity bills, right?
What are you? Some kind of idiot? I'm dead... I no longer have a bank account..."
Sure, I still have a little stashed away under the floorboards...
A gold necklace and a vintage snood that you might get a tenner for online...
But I don't see why any ghost need share that secret with some twatting jobsworth...
Keep that fact to yourself - save your treasure for a special occasion -
And just remind the electricity board that ghosts don't need heat because you don't feel the cold, "Good day to you, sir!" *slams down phone*

Witches...
Warlocks...
Black hat and broomsticks...
A dirty-looking cauldron bubbling away in the corner...
Goodness knows what's inside it?
Slugs and snails and puppy dog's tales...
And - oh my - the tales those dogs can tell will make your ears wilt!
Worse than anything you've heard witch's cats say down the tavern...
Whilst we're on the subject, why not take a look around...
Over there on the shelf spell-books
Second hand, of course - passed down through families...
Or borrowed - possibly stolen - from the local library...
Who can afford a new spell-book these days...
They're all E-books! It's just not the same...
It's amazing how often you find typos in the more recent editions...
It may not sound much but it can mean the difference -
Between turning your foes into frogs or into traffic wardens...
The world really doesn't need ANY more traffic wardens...

Vampires...
Blood-suckers...
Really? Does it have to be blood? That's so 1970s!
Listen, we have a nice selection of alcoholic beverages...
But if you're driving then we have coffee... We have tea...
I'm pretty sure I could run to a mug of hot chocolate if I turn out the cupboards...
I'm not being insensitive, but we do have tomato juice... Okay, blood is it...
Go on then, impress me; turn into a bat or something...
It's okay - I didn't put garlic in it - the curtains are drawn -
Although this really isn't my idea of "mood lighting..."
Unless this is the kind of mood you are trying to encourage!
Biting the guests puts nobody in a very positive frame of mind...
I thought modern vampires had evolved past having to avoid sun-light...
Don't tell me - it turns you to dust - you're very old-school, aren't you?
Oh well... At least they won't be in for any big surprises...
Well, other than finding out that their host wants to sip on their jugulars -
And maybe enslave them for the rest of their existence...
Too cheap to pay for a cleaner? Some people...

Werewolves...
Moon-barkers...
Sorry, is that offensive? I really don't want to offend anyone..
Especially if they're a werewolf...
You know... Sharp teeth and all; sorry another stereotype there...
I'm sure some of them are really nice people...
Actually - that's probably not what I meant...
Because even the bad werewolves who eat folk -
Might be lovely when you meet them in their human form...
I suppose what I was trying to say -
Was that some werewolves are probably nice too; even when transformed...
Blood-lust doesn't affect everyone the same, right!? Don't look at me like that...
Werewolves... They're all misunderstood... Oh, who am I kidding!?
Ghosts and witches and vampires and werewolves...
They're a miserable bunch when all is said and done and get far too much publicity...
What about me? I've got a new book out...
But I don't suppose you're interested in that, are you?
So will that do? Shall we call it a day now? I've done my part...

Thank goodness Halloween only comes around once a year...

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016

Monday, October 24, 2016

MOUNT VERNON, NW3

A NEW PROSE PIECE FOR YOU...

Hello beasties!

Just a short prose piece this time, inspired by some photos that I took on a walk that Toby and I did back on Sunday 25th September 2016 in the Hampstead area, We walked from Hampstead to Kenwood House and I recorded some introductions for the 2016 Halloween episode which I'll be posting next week, along with some of the photos of the locations where I recorded. For now, however, I am sharing one or two photos taken of interesting (to me) signs up Mount Vernon in London, NW3. Mount Vernon isn't a mountain by any means - but it is a slight hill/incline that continues the road that passes Hampstead Tube Station.

Anyway, I decided that I'd like to write something from these photos and this is what I came up with - to be honest it's a bit of an M.R. James parody - although my piece takes a slightly absurd situation and attempts to give it a Jamesian twist... Here are the photos that I mentioned...

There is no new podcast to announce this time - our Halloween episode will be up early next week... So, next post we'll be discussing that new episode and I'll also be sharing with you another prose piece on the subject of Halloween.


Until then I'll leave you with that slightly spooky story of mine which was inspired by my visit to Mount Vernon...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS This piece was written on Monday 3rd October 2016 and tweaked and slightly reworked up until time of posting.

MOUNT VERNON, NW3...


Making my way one September afternoon...
I traversed Mount Vernon bound for Kenwood House...
Nearing the rise I passed by Benham's Place and Holly Berry Lane -
Pausing at the house where Robert Louis Stevenson once lived...
Eventually I moved along the road to consider the view -
Looking down the hill towards Hampstead tube stop...
Although on this occasion there were leafy trees and bushes in the way...
Maybe in the Winter or early Spring I might return and see, thought I.
It is whilst I mused over such things that I noticed a figure -
He was coming up the footpath on the right side of the hill -
Within seconds we were face to face on the ridge...
I recognised the face almost immediately...
It was me - and almost of the same age and dress...
He paused when he saw me and then smiled before speaking,
"Ah... I thought I might find you here one day...
"If I were you I'd not come back here...
I did and look at me now... Here I am... Dead as can be."
I was confused, "But how can you be dead and yet I am here still alive..."
"Simple..." he shrugged. "I am a ghost of a possible future...
And from the looks of it a future not too far in advance of yours now..."
"But can I prevent whatever occurred to you?" I enquired, flustered.
"I have no idea... " he sighed. "You can only try, can't you?"
"What occurred to you?" I asked - shocked at how identical we were.
Whatever happened must be due to happen imminently.
"At least I didn't die at the shock of seeing my own ghost..." he teased.
It's not a joke that I find very amusing, to be honest.
I let him continue - awaiting some revelation...
"I came here in the winter - passing by on my way to Kenwood House...
Only I never reached the house, nor even the Common...
Here I stood at this very place - here on Mount Vernon, NW3...
I was admiring the view; with the leaves gone I could see for miles...
That said I don't advise that you return any time soon..."
"How did you die? Did you slip? Fall on some ice?" I guessed.
He shook his head, "You see how narrow the road is?" I nodded.
"Well, it's not easy for vehicles that travel this way...
Especially not when a house is sold and there are deliveries..."
He indicated a house close by the Holly Bush public house.
"I am embarrassed to tell you..." he said and frowned.
"I was killed by a falling piano, pinned to the ground by it and here I died...
Don't let the same thing happen to you, will you?" he added.
"I cannot be sure that destiny won't catch up with you some other way..."
I was about to ask him more, but glancing back I found him gone.
After this I reasoned that I probably needed a beer of some kind.
I walked slowly from the Mount up towards The Holly Bush...
Nodding at an Estate Agent outside the newly sold house...
I vowed then never to return to Mount Vernon...
And so far, up until now, I have kept to that promise...
It is now New Year and there is snow on the ground...
Looking from my study window I recall what my future self told me...
"I cannot be sure that destiny won't catch up with you some other way..."
And so I wait.., and wait... It is unbearable - agonising...
The tension is so great that I wonder if it wouldn't simply be better -
To fetch my shoes, my coat and hat and take a little walk, through NW3...
Can it really be any worse than simply waiting here and worrying...
After all...
I hear there's a fine view down Hampstead Hill from Mount Vernon...


This piece and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2016.