Sunday, August 14, 2016

BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE...

A RANDOM NEW PIECE ABOUT CATS...




Hello beasties!!

This week I want to focus on cats - okay - not just any cat, mainly Deeley... But hey! He is our mascot and I know a lot of my followers do like to see his little purring face on my blog and in my videos and sometimes even in my podcasts. So... Anyway! I have some recent photos of him and I have some funny experiments with an app called Prisma where I used a Deeley photo and then manipulated it! (See above... and also below... lots below, actually!) This post I also have a new prose piece to share with you - a new prose piece concerning those of a fine feline persuasion.

Before we get on to that I would also let to present to you the next couple of episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - episodes 13 and 14... I'm currently working on episode 15, which is the first of two starring Toppie Smellie! Very excited to be working on those. Here are the two new episodes:

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 13: OBSCURE CULT TV AND OTHER ODDITIES...

Here we are for episode THIRTEEN!! This time Mr Yeti is speaking to two different friends - Andrew "Trowby" Trowbridge and Lisa Parker - whom he first met back in the early 90s through their shared love of cult TV, namely Dr Who. Over the years Mr Yeti appeared in a lot of home-made movies with the pair - and they both became SUTTON PARK regulars. Listen carefully as they discuss these days in a pub in Winchester and also recommend to you a number of obscure TV shows from the 60s and 70s that they have recently enjoyed. I am aiming to get episode 14 of the show ready by mid-to-late August! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Episode 13 was recorded on the 16th July 2016. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 14: FORGOTTEN TREASURES...

Here we are for episode FOURTEEN!! This time Mr Yeti delves into some forgotten treasures that he has been meaning to share with you for some time. We head off with him on a bus, hear about a number of lost poems and are presented with another of his Shy Yeti sketches... All that and much, much more! Thank you to Chrissie and Nicole from Greetings From Nowhere for allowing me to use a clips from episode 315 - The Great Sitcom Debate. Coming soon: Episode 15... The first of two episodes starring Toppie Smellie from The Smellcast! Should be up in the next week to ten days. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Soundbible or Sabine Eismeyer. Episode 14 was recorded between the 17th July and the 10th August 2016. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.

These episodes are available on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also on Soundcloud at:

13:  https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-13-obscure-cult-tv-and-other-oddities

14: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-14-forgotten-treasures

As I mentioned, I'm currently busy editing episode 14 and will hopefully have that one ready in the next day or so... The original version of 14 ran to under an hour and is made up of lots of bits that needed a home; but on Wednesday 10th August I added approximately 20 minutes more material! I think - I hope- that it'll make the episode even better!

Oh, and by the way - the Waterloo t-shirt design is by my friend Paul Webster @p_webs on Twitter who also drew the BEAST OF FRIENDS and ONION MAN illustrations, amongst others - for my last couple of books. He has a store on REDBUBBLE that is definitely worth checking out:

http://www.redbubble.com/people/paulwebster

and also: http://www.doodlehead.com.au

Thank you to Toby for two photos of D having a good old stretch on a foot-stall... These next four I took just before I went down to Kent.

As I promised earlier, the following photos are some daft pictures of Deeley put through the Prisma app...

Poor Deels! That last one is really rather harsh!

Next time I hope to have another yeti script, but I'm progressing slightly slower with that at the moment - so we shall see... There will definitely be something before I head off for my next holiday! In fact it's looking very likely that I'll be presenting something very exciting and quite exclusive next time around!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. This piece was written between Monday 8th and Sunday 14th August 2016... I also decided on the title on the 8th, having known that I wanted to write a new cat piece on this particular topic for a couple of weeks, but not having had an exact title before I started work on the piece.

THE CATS IN THE CROWD...

Cats...

They're at their best when hidden...
It's all part of their curious reputation...
Look around you - they are out there...
I don't mean those felines that you see every day...
It's the cats that you don't see that interest me...
Those in disguise - the cats in the crowd!

You may not see them straight away -
But they are there...
On the train to work -
In the queue at the Post Office...
Dressed as a loofah in your bathroom!
That business-man who sits opposite you on your commute...
Look closer... No! Closer...
Do you see the whiskers yet?
Yes! Sure... I know that beards are very in fashion at the moment...
But these are real whiskers...
Kitty antenna, even!
They do a good job, though - skulking away there...
Hiding behind false glasses and a smart suit...
Peering out from behind a newspaper - from under their bowler hats...
You wouldn't instantly look at them and think...
"CAT!! CAT!!!!"
They know their jobs and they know them well -
And they're not going to make some half-arsed job of it...
When a cat goes out in disguise then most probably you'll never notice...
Those darting eyes take in all that is going on...
Seeing everything that is occurring - noting every single change...
They're really not afraid to make comment on what they see...
It's all part of their curiosity; born to tip-toe...
One might think that a cat's most natural human ancestor -
Was the foreman or maybe the local village busy-body...
Any imperfections are instantly clocked...
Any re-arrangement of their home environment is duly recorded...
Don't you see it?
The notepad in their back pocket? The pencil behind the ear?!
They always come well-prepared; expect their full report in hours -
Be sure they will make their thoughts crystal-clear...
Why on earth did she choose THAT carpet?
Is she colour-blind - can't she see how badly it clashes with the curtains!?
So he clearly got his own way with the wall-paper; big mistake...
As for gossip - the manner in which you arrange your prized ornaments -
Is just small fry compared to what they think of that dress - that tie...
That shirt - that suit - those shoes - your HAIR - that DREADFUL tattoo...
To be honest you might as well just give up if you don't want to be judged...
After all, it's not as if you're going to get your own back...
Try and criticise their manky tail or wilting ears - that scar...
Tease them over their limited taste in cat food...
"Chicken and ham! Always the same! What's wrong with you! Freak!"
They will pretend not to hear your taunts- but they will take it all in...
Don't get caught bad-mouthing them about their wobbly belly...
They will bottle it up...
One day you will find yourself at the sharp end of their claws!
Just be careful, be alert - as alert at cats are - if not a little more...
Look around you; that business man over there - does he have a tail?
Well, does he? And is he humming some familiar tune under his breath?
Listen... Think again... He may not be humming after all...
Simply purring!!

They're at their best when hidden...
Those in disguise - the cats in the crowd!
 
This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. 


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