Sunday, December 20, 2015

THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING... (IS IN THE EATING)

A SECOND CHRISTMAS STORY...

Hello beasties!!

This is a just a quick post for Christmas week... As last week's script was slightly sinister and down-beat I decided to write you something jolly and seasonal this time!

Yeah, right... Anyway! Enjoy!


Next week we'll be looking back at what I've been up to in 2015 and some of what we can expect in 2016...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx
 
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING...
 
Everybody likes to celebrate Christmas...
Why should I be any different?
It's just the way that people actually celebrate that sets them apart;
Not everybody marks the season in exactly the same way...
I like to throw a party and invite my friends over for mince pies and nibbles...
People come far and wide to sample my Christmas pudding.
I don't blame them. It is rather good.
Usually I give myself plenty of time to prepare;
But this year I was running late.
Sure, I'd gotten all the ingredients together -
It's not something you can do in five minutes...
Most of the canap├ęs were ready to go and just needed to be put on plates -
But I'd left making the pies until the night before -
And as a result I'd ended up rushing it...
Casting an eye over the number of guests arriving I quietly began to panic..
It wasn't just that a lot of people had accepted my invitation this year,
But also that some of them had invited friends of their own...
I didn't like it - but there wasn't a great deal that I do about it either...
But it was clear to me that I wasn't going to have enough...
I needed to make more pies, maybe even another dessert...
It was a lack of ingredients that was the main problem -
With nowhere open nearby for me to get what I needed...
That's when my boy friend showed up to save the day...
Boy-friend, ex-boy friend, I'm not really sure to be honest...
I hadn't expected to see him - we've been arguing a lot lately...
It's my fault, of course - it's my life-style that is to blame I am told...
He's suddenly taken against it, I'm not sure what he thinks he knows...
I've never exactly flaunted any of my tastes in front of him...
It's something that I've always done in private...
Recently he turned vegan - he's gone on a health kick...
That's half of the problem and the reason we've been disagreeing...
He wanted me to do the same, but I wouldn't...
I'm happy for him to do as he pleases, but I won't be lectured to...
Now was no time to argue, so I asked for his help...
He was unsympathetic; told me he'd forgotten all about my party -
Said he had just come to pick up his stuff and -
Then said some rather hurtful things about my friends...
"Have a drink..." I insisted, "Let's not end this by fighting..."
He had other things to do - other places to be, I accepted that...
"Honey... Just come and help me in the kitchen... Just quickly, please..."
I kissed him gently on the neck, the way he liked and he followed me...
I sharpened a set of knifes whilst he grudgingly washed some plates -
And then, once he was done, I introduced him to the flat end of a shovel -
Then turned the oven on whilst I prepped the extra pastry...
The party-goers weren't going to be disappointed that night after all...
Everybody likes to celebrate Christmas...
Why should cannibals be any different?


PS Thank you to Drew Miller for his drawing of a certain Mr Shy Yeti which appears at the bottom of the post. Drew is a musician and we are planning on doing some spoken word/musical collaboration during 2016; but it's all very hush hush at the moment! But watch this space...
 
PPS Our jolly Christmas tale - THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING was written between Sunday 6th and Saturday 12th December 2015, with slight proofing just before it was posted. It was provisionally entitled MINCE P-EYES - but that came from my original idea of somebody who bakes eyes into mince pies, it wasn't a very good title or idea, really! In the first draft of the piece it was the narrators girl friend, not a boyfriend who finds their way into the oven. I should emphasize that the story is fiction and in no way indicates how I will be spending Christmas!! Honestly!?

This post is Copyright - Paul Chandler, 2015.