Thursday, August 27, 2015

TEN YEARS... AND A BIT!!

POETIQUETTE - 10TH ANNIVERSARY RELEASE... RELEASED!!


Hi beasties!

Well, it's been a long time coming, but this time I'm happy to say that the time has come to launch my long-awaited (by me!) 10th anniversary edition of POETIQUETTE... I also aim to launch a new section of my blog, this post, called ASK SHY YETI, but we will return to this later. First up, POETIQUETTE...


POETIQUETTE, first published in 2005, was Paul’s eighth self-published collection and his seventh to include completely contemporary compositions. Even back then he was writing his daft yeti verse, but until now POETIQUETTE has only been available alongside its sister volume MUGSHOTS (also recently re-issued), so this is the first time it has stood alone. This 10th anniversary edition contains photos and facts about the book and many of the poems Paul still performs today – these include, BEING COY, CAKE AND EAT IT, HOPELESS ROMANTIC?, I WANT THEM TO SEE ME (ON TOP OF THE POPS), MISTER BEE, RED TAPE, SOMEWHERE IN-BETWEEN and A YETI’S FUR, but many that he doesn’t; at least not yet! So, sit back and enjoy!

Paperback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/poetiquette/17040496 £7.99

Hardback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/poetiquette/17110198 £14.99

To help launch this book I'm posting one of my favourite poems from this collection, but we'll come to that in a bit...

Next up - just for a change - I intend to ask a number of questions posed to me by my Twitter followers... I offered to answer questions about my writing, myself or simply to give advice on any pressing matters that my followers might have...

First up, my friend Julie asks: 

@JulieHowellDX: I have a question. I would like to know what inspires you the most and why. Travel or Cake. Thank you.

Well, Julie - that is a very good question... Believe it or not, I'd probably say travel - it's the sense of adventure more than anything. That said, what holiday - or adventure for that matter - would be any kind of fun without cake - or in Italy, without gelato; buckets of the stuff. I guess the most inspiring thing would be to travel to Italy in a plane or boat made from a giant pannetone. Although I think the overall answer is that it is the travel is the bigger inspiration - I could live without cake (as long as there was still pie), but I couldn't live without going on holiday!

My next question comes from Lesley A...

OK... Here's one. Which species do you think are more intelligent, dogs or cats? and your reasons why? I know it'll be a bit biased, considering Deeley is such a sharp cookie...

Well, Lesley - you are right, I am biased. But I did ask Deeley how many A Levels he had and he claims 6. I did ask him to show me the certificates, but I'm still waiting to see those... Seriously, though have you ever seen a cat wearing a Dunces Cap? No! Me, neither. I mean, dogs are lovely but they don't need Dunces Caps - their soppy, floppy faces say it all! Personally, I've not played Scrabble with a dog - well, not for a year or two - but I always used to beat them - and I'm the world's worst Scrabble player. Cats, on the other hand, always beat me at Scrabble. Every single time. You may not know this, but Deeley also likes to complete the Times crossword. Completely trashes me every time.

Hopefully, there will be more questions in October...

Next time, I hope to be sharing with you some photos and some new writing done whilst I was away with Toby in Grange-Over-Sands towards the end of last month...

More soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx



SOMEWHERE IN-BETWEEN…

 
I’m neither short nor tall enough...
Not hard – yet neither camp…
Seems life’s gone kinda lukewarm…
Neither hot nor wet – just damp!
For my shame, I’m just not mad enough!
No, neither harridan, nor prude…
You could say I’ve got the balance…
Not too polite – yet neither rude!
 
I’m caught somewhere in the middle…
I am somewhere in-between…
No, neither am I butch enough…
Yet never bitch enough for queen!
I’d like to either be the hobo –
Or a style-freak who is hip…
I’d like to say things that are witty…
But I just wasn’t born to quip…
I’d like to be the one they hate so –
Or be the sort that folk admire…
But I just don’t seem to register…
I do not bore – yet don’t inspire!
Well, I’m not a natural leader;
I’d rather simply wait and see…
In a crisis I’m oblivious…
Though, you’ll never see me flee!
I’m caught somewhere on the edges –
Or lost someplace down the cracks…
I’m just the kind comes two-a-penny…
Neither over-stressed nor lax!
Sure, I’m pretty even tempered –
No, I’ll not often tear my hair…
Though I won’t sit there and take it –
If you decide to not play fair!
I have imagination and I use it;
But with feet flat on the ground…
I don’t live up with the cuckoos –
Where my peers can all be found…
I’m quite surely indecisive!
I’m neither generous – nor mean!
I’m not the best – I could be bettered…
I’m just caught somewhere in between…


I’m neither bright nor dull enough…
Not super-fast – yet never slow!
Neither millionaire nor pauper…
Although I’d love a tad more dough?
My views are just not fully formed enough…
I’m unambitious – lazy, yes…
I will never win awards this way…
Nor am I bothered, I’ll confess!
 
I’m just not ever going to thrill you!
I’m not the most dynamic bod you’ve ever seen!
I’m neither one nor am I t’other…
No, just simply floating somewhere – in-between…


This post and all content are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2015.


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