Sunday, December 25, 2011


























MR SHY YETI'S SECOND SLIGHTY DISTURBING CHRISTMAS STORY!!

Hello!

So, what do you think!?! I do hope you like the new logo!

It's one of a few new logos that I'll be unveiling in 2012 in my next couple of books ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! and NOT AS SHY AS IT WAS.

The logo's by Pete Katsiaounis who also did my illustrations for the FUNERAL FOR A SHOE segment of my last collection, which I wrote about on the following blog-entry back in October: http://www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.com/2011_10_23_archive.html

You can read more about Pete and his artwork at: www.inkandmanners.com/

I am also pleased to be able to announce another new SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode. It's the first of two that I filmed back in late October and it's called SHY YETI'S MINI EUROPEAN TOUR 2011 - PART 1: FROM LILLE TO...

The link is: http://youtu.be/2W8SadxiiTQ

Here's a bit more information about it...

Welcome to Shy Yeti's mini European Tour 2011... This is the first part of a two part adventure in time and space... oh, okay... it was actually just filmed in Europe in late October 2011. This episode begins in Lille before heading off to... Well, you'll have to wait and see before I reveal that! Poems include DISCO from the 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD and performances of EIGHT-LEGGED DISCRIMINATION and YETI SPAGHETTI from my November 2011 Poetry Cafe show. Camera: Paul Chandler and Calum Williamson (who makes a couple of cameos in the episode too!) Music: Luca. This film and its contents are copyright Paul Chandler, 2011. Part 2 follows by new year...

Last, but not least - I present the second of my two Christmas stories; a slightly macabre festive offering called TAKE CARE WHEN GIVING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS...

I hope you enjoy it!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS YETI FOLK! and thanks for reading the blog this year and for watching the videos. They'll be more from me in the New Year and Part 2 of my mini European tour!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

TAKE CARE WHEN GIVING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS…


        You have to be so careful when you're giving Christmas presents…

          I never realised quite how devious people can be; but I learnt the hard way…

          When I grudgingly gave my ex-wife a present I had no idea what would happen. All year we'd spent battling in the courts over the divorce and she'd ended up with pretty much everything; including the kids. I’m not quite sure how it ended up that way, as she had left me, still – it did. Anyway… Be reasonable, I thought. It's only a box of chocolates for all she does to look after our kids. Kate seemed surprised - standing there on the doorstep when I took them for the weekend; her new boyfriend there in the hallway behind her, poised to pounce in case of trouble.

          “Thank you…” Kate said crisply. “I haven't got anything for you, I’m afraid…”

          It was no surprise; but I told her that having time with the kids was enough of a present – that nothing more was required; sickly, I know – but almost true.

          Anyway, mission accomplished, I thought. At least I presumed it was so.

          But little did I know what some people do - that some people unwrap their presents early – decide that they don’t want them and simply pass them on.

          Little did I realise then that my present to Kate was opened and discarded and then wrapped again and passed onto her sister. Who did the same and passed it on to her niece, who didn’t like dark chocolate and so wrapped them again and gave them to Auntie Maud who ended up spending Christmas Day at my parent’s house and…

          Anyway… It all got very confusing - and unfortunate too.

          But this is why you have to be so careful when giving Christmas presents…

          ...And it’s also how in a round-a-bout way that I ended up poisoning my own dear mother, rather than my hated, deceitful bitch of an ex-wife.

TAKE CARE WHEN GIVING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS appears in my next collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!? which is due out in late-Spring 2012. This post and its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

THE FIRST OF TWO NEW STORIES FOR CHRISTMAS

Hello!

As you may or may not recall I wrote a couple of poems a month or two back which I had originally intended for posting on the blog. These were called MISTLETOE MANIA and IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY? However, my plans have changed since I performed them on Radio Wey and edited them into videos (they can be viewed at: http://youtu.be/qOnU3HDSj_0 ) I decided that I would like to include something that was completely new and which won't be in a book until well into 2012...

So, the two pieces that I intend to post are totally exclusive to this blog. Not poems after all, but stories. The first one is here and the next one I intend to post at some stage between Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, although I'm sure none of you will be want to read it in the midst of your Christmas festivities. But there you go; consider it an extra present. This first story was written in Marks and Spencer's cafe when I was full of cold on Wednesday 7th December 2011. It's called SANTA'S BIT ON THE SIDE... I hope you enjoy it and tune in for the next story around Christmas Eve if you've got the time. The title of that story remains under wraps for now!

Before I move on to the story I can reveal another Christmas present in the form of Part 5 of YETI HUNT U.S.A., which is up and ready to view only a week after the posting of Part 4!

It's available on Youtube at: http://youtu.be/srwyvP0pHlg

Here's some more about the episode:

ORE-GO-GO YETI is the 5th episode of a new 8-part SHY YETI ON LOCATION series - YETI HUNT U.S.A., which returns us to the U.S.A. on the hunt for Shy Yeti's yeti relatives... Moving on from L.A. Paul and Dominic follow the trail to Portland, Oregon.This episode was filmed in Oregon in late July 2011 and can be watched with or separately from the other parts. Part 5 sees Paul and Dominic explore the city - and there are also two poems and two Also big thanks to Calum Williamson for filming the gig footage. Music is by Luca. YETI HUNT U.S.A. will be back for its final 3 episodes early in the new year. This film is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011.

There will be a break in the series now before the final three parts are edited and posted; a natural break as these were filmed a few months after parts 1-5, in November 2011. I expect to continue working on those episodes in January. I am currently working on the two part series that I filmed in Lille and Brugge back in late October 2011 and also a second video of John Smallshaw and I from our Poetry Cafe show from late November 2011.

Oh - and before I go I can also announce that there is now a slightly edited version of Part 4 of YETI HUNT U.S.A. on Vimeo. It's about 10 minutes long compared to Youtube 13 minute version - this is mainly due to the limitations on the size of the file that I can currently post on Vimeo. Still! It's still worth a look - there are just a few less pretty views of Portland.

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - Part 4 Vimeo link: http://vimeo.com/33965649

That's it for now - more soon! Enjoy the seasonal story!

Happy Christmas to you all!

Yeti hugs

Paul xx

PS The photo below was taken last Christmas! Fetching innit!?! Not one of my most flattering poses! lol

SANTA’S BIT ON THE SIDE

Keira always woke up smiling on Christmas morning. She was Santa’s favourite and he always popped in to see her on his travels and usually stayed over.

She had confided all this with her best friend, Sue, who just scoffed and said. “That’ll be Dave the Milkman... He always does that kind of thing; he’s a complete tart and he loves a bit of dressing up; believe me – I’ve been there and it wasn’t fun!”

Keira refused to accept Sue’s suggestion; after all Santa had showed her his sleigh – they had even popped out on it to fetch a Chinese takeaway. She’d been a little drunk at the time; but there was no doubting it had happened – it wasn’t as if it was the first time he’d shown up either. They’d first met at a winter wonderland pagent in Sidcup – he’d been switching on the Christmas lights and she’d broken a heel and tripped right into him. It had all gone from there...

Still, Keira was first to accept that a lot of men dressed in such festive costumes at this time of year – fake Santa’s were two-a-penny, but Keira had been lucky enough to bag THE genuine article – THE Santa Claus!

She turned sleepily in bed, he was gone now, of course – as expected; but he’d left his traditional note: SAME TIME NEXT YEAR!?

As if she was going to say no. Except for the occasional text – that was all that she expected to here from him until next December 24th.

He’d also left her a bag of extra special tree decorations – the tinsel was splendid, as ever and she would wear a string of it around her neck like a boa and put the rest on the tree. There was also a large box of baubles which always made the tree sign; she’d never seen anything like them – well, not since the ones that he’d left her the Christmas before. Keira sighed. “It’s not everyone who gets to see Santa’s baubles...” she reassured herself.

Still, there was no time to lose – her mother and brother were coming over for lunch and the kitchen was bound to be filthy; even though Santa had done all the washing up after the Chinese meal. He was quite the domestic god; well... To a point. For her also always insisted on keeping his trusty reindeer in her utility room over night so that they didn’t escape and the next morning, as one would imagine – the mess was considerable.

Still, who was she to argue – she lived for those visits; completely accepted her role in his life and enjoyed every moment...

Keira was Santa’s very own personal Christmas present to himself – his precious bit on the side and she wouldn’t have missed it for the world...

Just as long as Santa’s boyfriend never found out everything would remain just perfect.

SANTA'S BIT ON THE SIDE is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011 and will appear in the collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!? in Spring 2012.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

YOUR CHANCE TO INFLUENCE WHICH YETI FILM HITS THE TOP SPOT!! :)

Greetings!

This post is all about my many various yeti films - old and new! I can't believe how many there are - well over fifty now. Although I made my first poetry videos back in 2008, it wasn't until the start of 2010 that I began to make them regularly! Now there's lots!

Anyway... I'm pleased to be able to announce another new one! It's up now! This very minute! Yes! It's the next instalment of my YETI HUNT U.S.A. series - as follows...

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 4: http://youtu.be/JChPvtMaUlc

Here's a bit more about it...

A YETI GOES TO OREGON is the 4th episode of a new 8-part SHY YETI ON LOCATION series - YETI HUNT U.S.A., which returns us to the U.S.A. on the hunt for Shy Yeti's yeti relatives... Moving on from L.A. Paul and Dominic follow the trail to Portland, Oregon.This episode was filmed in Oregon in late July 2011 and can be watched with or separately from the other parts. This episode is slightly longer than usual due to all the lovely scenery!! Part 4 sees the guys head for Mount Hood - there is also a woodland yeti dance and an old poem from the archives: THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR which was read at The Cobalt Cafe in L.A. during this very trip. As well as appearing in this episode my faithful sidekick Dominic McCauley also assisted with its filming! Thank you! I would also like to give big thanks to Dominic's sister, Daria, for driving us up to Mount Hood and back during this visit. Music is by Luca. This film is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011.

It'll also be available in a slightly edited version on Vimeo next week. With a little luck Part 5 should be up before Christmas - or at very latest before New Year.

Also Part 2 of my visit to Radio Wey can now be viewed on Vimeo at: http://vimeo.com/33613261

The details are:

SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY - XMAS 11 is the second part of a two part film that was recorded during Tim Mitchell's Radio show on Saturday 3rd December 2011. Poems in this half include a mixture of new and old Christmas-themed pieces from my new compilation: TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN. These are: MISTLETOE MANIA, THE CAROL SINGERS, SANTAS DON'T TEXT, SNOW BUNNIES and THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD. The film stars Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell. Big thanks to Tim and Radio Wey for inviting me onto the show. Camera: P.C., Music: Luca. With a bit of luck I'll be back on Radio Wey in February. Copyright, Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell, 2011.

It's also still available at: http://youtu.be/pQKZesnMdrw

Anyway... Onto the other point of this post! So... The big question! How can you still influence the final rating for my 2011 videos?

Well, below is a list of the hits as they stand now - for all the films that I've released this year. If there is one that you especially liked and want to see higher up the charts then you can watch them on either of my two channels: http://www.youtube.com/user/MRSHYYETI or http://vimeo.com/shyyeti

You've got until 31st December 2011 and I'll reveal the final results in the first post of 2012!

Here's how the ratings stand, at present...

HIGHEST RATED NEW SHY YETI VIDEOS OF 2011 (SO FAR!)


1st A YETI IN WINTER = 142 views (11th overall)
2nd A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 4 = 85 views (25)
3rd A PERFECT MATCH = 79 views (27)
4th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 3 = 70 views (30)
5th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 1 = 66 views (32)
6th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 2 = 65 views (33)
7th YETI DANCE A-GO-GO… = 62 views (36)
8th A YETI IN PARIS – PART 1 = 60 views (38)
9th SHY YETI LIVE – 02/04/2011 = 59 views (39)
10th A YETI ON RADIO WEY = 57 views (42)
11th TOO LATE – A SHORT STORY = 54 views (43)
12th EVENING WITH SHY YETI – & OTHER ANIMALS = 52 views (44)
=13th ANOTHER EVENING WITH SHY YETI… = 50 views (=45)
=13th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 2 = 50 views (=45)
15th A YETI IN PARIS – PART 2 = 46 views (49)
=16th SHY YETI BACK AT THE COBALT CAFE = 45 views (=50)
=16th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 3 = 45 views (=50)
18th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 1 = 39 views (52)
19th SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY – PART 1 = 38 views (53)
20th A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS – A POEM = 29 views (60)
21st SOMETHING TO CHEW ON – A SHORT STORY = 27 views (=61)
22nd JUNK/FOOD GIG 1 = 23 views (=66)
23rd SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY – PART 2 = 5 views (72)

Just in case you're interested - here's the overall top 40 list of all the films released until now.
Next week we have an exclusive Christmas story and much much more!

Until then, have fun!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

RATINGS FROM YETI VIDEOS – AS OF 09/12/2011

1st SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 1 = 418 views
2nd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 2 = 263 views
3rd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 3 = 254 views
4th SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 201 views
5th SHY YETI'S VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL = 173 views
6th BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 170 views
7th SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD = 168 views
=8th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 4 = 162 views
=8th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 162 views
10th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 1 = 146 views
11th A YETI IN WINTER = 142 views
12th OUT AND ABOUT WITH SHY YETI = 141 views
13th UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 140 views
14th I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES = 139 views
15th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 7 = 132 views
16th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 6 = 130 views
17th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 5 = 124 views
18th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 = 118 views
19th SHY YETI AT THE COBALT CAFÉ = 117 views
20th SHY'S SNOW SPECTACULAR = 115 views
21st SHY YETI TALKS = 106 views
22nd YETI SPAGHETTI = 100 views
23rd SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES) = 98 views
24th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 (2) = 91 views
25th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 4 = 85 views
26th SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY = 82 views
27th A PERFECT MATCH = 79 views
28th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 2 = 75 views
29th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 72 views
30th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 3 = 70 views
31st SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES) = 67 views
32nd SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 1 = 66 views
33rd SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 2 = 65 views
34th YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES) = 64 views
35th LITTLE PIG = 63 views
36th YETI DANCE A-GO-GO… = 62 views
37th SUTTON PARK – PART 8 (1 OF 2) = 61 views
38th A YETI IN PARIS - PART 1 = 60 views
39th SHY YETI LIVE – 02/04/2011 = 59 views
=40th MY MOMENT IS NOW = 58 views
=40th PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 58 views


The Copyright of this post belongs to Paul Chandler, 2011.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

CHRISTMAS YETI - ON THE RADIO...



Hello!

Well, I am glad to announce that all went very well on Saturday for my return to Radio Wey for a Christmas-themed episode. All in all I read 11 poems and short stories during the two hour show and I am pleased to be able to share them with you, as you will see below.

The material I read all comes from my new TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMAN compilation which I have just put together; in fact I pretty much managed to read half of it on the night; leaving out some of the creepier short stories. Believe me! There's one about a Christmas Tree that eats people... It's a bit gory, that one! ;)

Anyway - here is the details to the episodes. The first one went up on Sunday 4th December and the second episode is posted today:

SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY - XMAS 11 (PART 1) is the first part of a two part film that was recorded during Tim Mitchell's Radio show on Saturday 3rd December 2011. Pieces read during this half include: JACK FROST'S CHILLI DIET, TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN, THE MELTING SNOWMAN, IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?, LOOK! I'M NO SCROOGE and CHRISTMAS LIGHTS... The film stars Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell. Big thanks to Tim and Radio Wey for inviting me onto the show. Camera: P.C., Music: Luca. To Be Continued... Copyright, Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell, 2011.

The episode can be viewed at either of these links:

Youtube: http://youtu.be/qOnU3HDSj_0

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/33233729

The second part is available as of today...

SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY - XMAS 11 (PART 2) is the second part of a two part film that was recorded during Tim Mitchell's Radio show on Saturday 3rd December 2011. Poems in this half include a mixture of new and old Christmas-themed pieces from my new compilation: TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN. These are: MISTLETOE MANIA, THE CAROL SINGERS, SANTAS DON'T TEXT, SNOW BUNNIES and THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD. The film stars Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell. Big thanks to Tim and Radio Wey for inviting me onto the show. Camera: P.C., Music: Luca. With a bit of luck I'll be back on Radio Wey in February. Copyright, Paul Chandler and Tim Mitchell, 2011.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/pQKZesnMdrw

Vimeo: Available from next Tuesday...

Over the next couple of weeks before Christmas I'll be posting something new and Christmassy and we'll also be looking back to all the films that I've put together this year and seeing which one has had the most views during 2011. Don't forget - they've all available to view on my MRSHYYETI profile on youtube and my SHYYETI profile on Vimeo. Get watching! You could make a difference to which of the videos gets the most hits! :)

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


The Copyright of this post belongs to Paul Chandler, 2011.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

RADIO YE-TI

My Christmassy Return To Radio Wey - and Other Stuff...

Hi!

Hello, you fuzzy people - I do hope you're all well!

As usual there's quite a lot to cover this week - let's begin with an update the Poetry Cafe show; which is nearly two weeks ago now, already! Basically there is a video up on Youtube and Vimeo and here's some more information and links to the videos...

JUNK/FOOD - 10TH ANNIVERSARY GIG 1

This is a film from the 10th anniversary show for my first collection of poems: JUNK/FOOD which was self-published in autumn 2001. A special 10th anniversary edition of this book was released in October 2011 and this show took place at The Poetry Cafe near Covent Garden on Friday 18th November 2011. Guest star of the night was the fantastic John Smallshaw, who also appears in this video. Hopefully there will be another video from the night coming soon. Poems by Paul Chandler/Shy Yeti in this film include: EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI, THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART, I AM THE GERMS and JOHN, I'M ONLY RHYMING. The poem by John Smallshaw is called THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD (AS I SEE IT...). Thank you for all who came to the show and also to Calum Williamson for filming the events. Music in this film is provided by Luca. The copyright of this film belongs to Paul Chandler and John Smallshaw, 2011.

Youtube link: http://youtu.be/Q9m5-ESo1GI

Vimeo link: http://vimeo.com/32670431

Go on! Watch the video, why don't you? Oh please...  *tries not to beg!* :)

Next up I have some information on a couple of my http://www.lulu.com/ projects - they're both compilations; although the first of them contains previews from two of my collections from next year.

Here are the details, firstly:

TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN

This is a small taster collection that I have put together, mainly due to the Radio Wey show this Saturday as I wanted to collect together as many of my Christmas-themed pieces as possible. In the end I found 21!

TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN is a compilation of some of the Christmas poems and stories that Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) has included in his books, over the years. This compilation also contains a number of exclusive new poems from his forthcoming books ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! and NOT AS SHY AS I WAS which aren’t due to be published until mid/late 2012. As you can imagine, a yeti Christmas is not necessarily a conventional one. It’s more a mysterious, alternative Christmas and in some places darn scary. Includes the poems: BLACK-MAILING SANTA, IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY!?, THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD and the title piece and the stories - HAPPY EX-MAS, JACK FROST'S CHILLI DIET and THE MELTING SNOWMAN.

Paperback version: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/too-slushy-for-snowmen/12159696

The full line-up of 21 pieces ranging from the early 00s until previously unpublished material is as follows:

ALTERNATIVE SEASONS GREETINGS.
BLACKMAILING SANTA.
CHRISTMASTIME FOR SKELETONS.
THE CAROL SINGERS.
CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
THE CHRISTMAS TREE.
DECORATING MORRISSEY.
A HAPPY EX-MAS.
I WANT TO BE BORN BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?
JACK FROST’S CHILLI DIET.
LOOK, I’M NO SCROOGE.
THE MELTING SNOWMAN.
MISTLETOE MANIA.
RICH PICKINGS.
SANTAS DON’T TEXT.
SNOW BUNNIES!!
TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN.
THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD.
WICKED SANTA.
XMAS SHOP LIFTER.

TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMAN is 48 pages long and available for £4.99. The front and back covers appear at the top and bottom of this very post! I shall report back next week as to exactly which pieces from it that I read!

Secondly we move on to...

WOOED AWAKENINGS

Now this collection is another compilation; one of two - both of which I am re-issuing with refreshed graphics. They originally came out in 2007 and the content remains largely the same; however both this and it's sister collection WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS have be reissued with new covers. You may have seen them on my post a couple of weeks back. WOOED AWAKENINGS is already out and WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS should appear with it's fresh face by the new year.

For those who don't remember the compilation - here is further information...

WOOED AWAKENINGS is a compilation of Paul’s earlier poems which particularly focus on the strange world of relationships. These are not just your ordinary day to day marriages and break ups - but bitter and peculiar tales of those who have been wronged, those who have deceived and one man, in particular, who has fallen in love with a statue. The 75 poems in this book were written between 1999 and 2004 and first appeared in the collections JUNK/FOOD / ROLLERCOASTER and THIRD AND 4TH TIME LUCKY, both first published here on lulu.com. There are also two new poems published for the first time in this collection, written during 2007.

Paperback: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/wooed-awakenings/18685433 £6.99

Hardbackhttp://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/wooed-awakenings/18691412 £12.99

Finally, I promised something else from my new collection FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which was launched on Friday 18th November during my Poetry Cafe gig.

The paperback edition is available for £9.99 at: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/funeral-for-a-shoe/18669080

There is also a hardback edition.

The piece that I have selected is called SUMMER SKIES - it's a short, mysterious story which I am posting to distract you from the horrible winter weather outside! I hope you enjoy it. Just be careful when you're out sun-bathing next year, won't you! Especially if it's a cloudy day!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx
SUMMER SKIES


Lying high on the hill gazing down upon the humdrum life going on below me in the valley, I eventually retire my voyeurism and lie back into the grass - staring up into the Summer skies. The sound of the sheep on the other side of my field is eventually drowned out by the thoughtful silence in my head. It’s a hot day and yet there are a lot of big clouds out; cruising across the sky like solid predators. Above me a cloud is watching. It is the size of the field, bigger perhaps. It has been watching for some time now. Unlike the other clouds it appears not to move; intent on studying us. It hangs there above me and yet gradually it seems to slowly descend – the field is becoming misty now and the Summer day is quickly lost. I stand up from the wet grass; aggrieved and yet already the cloud seems to be moving on; lifting, once more revealing the sun and blue sky. As it departs the cloud appears to wink at me and it is only then that I notice that all the sheep have gone - and I am alone…













This post and its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011

Thursday, November 24, 2011

JUNK/FOOD - 10TH ANNIVERSARY GIG!

18th November 2011, Poetry Cafe, London

Hi,

Well - it all went without a hitch and a good night was had by all... Hopefully! Oooh! That was the short review of the night, at least... Wanna know some more? Wanna know loads more? hehe. Okay... Here we go! All you ever wanted to know about last friday's gig, but were afraid to ask... There will be a video, of course - we got a lot of footage, but nothing's up yet... Hopefully by next week!

Okay... First we have the plan of action for the night, followed by what actually occured!

JUNK/FOOD –
10TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
FRIDAY 18TH NOVEMBER 2011

FIRST HALF - 7:00pm Doors open

7:30pm Shy Yeti introduces night and reads 4 poems - 2 yeti, 2 new (10 mins)

INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA
EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI

THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE
GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART

7:40 Shy Yeti reads 4 JUNK/FOOD POEMS (10 minutes)

BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD
HENS AND STAGS
I AM THE GERMS
I SHOULD NEVER

7:50 JOHN SMALLSHAW reads for approximately 15 minutes

8:05 Shy Yeti reads for about another 10 minutes...

HAIRCUT
JOHN, I’M ONLY RHYMING
MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER (Lennon/McCartney)

Including another 3 JUNK/FOOD favourites

DISCO
THE EUROVISION HERO
THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR

8:15pm BREAK

SECOND HALF - 8:30pm Shy Yeti continues with a yeti poem

YETI SPAGHETTI

Three pieces from JUNK/FOOD (10 minutes)

EMPATHY
EIGHT LEGGED DISCRIMINATION
I BELIEVE

8:40 pm 4 pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE (10 mins)

PEACE OF MIND IN A TEA BAG
ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE
DEATH OF A GIRLBAND
ELEGY AT A FUNERAL FOR A SHOE – PART 1

8:50 pm JOHN SMALLSHAW reads for 10 minutes

9:00 pm Poem + 3 short stories from VAMPIRE COWS (10 mins)

LITTLE PIG

LEGGY BLONDE
GRANDPA’S WIG
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DIVA

9:10 pm 2 pieces from ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! (5 minutes)

BEE BUSINESS
ARE WE THERE, YETI?

9:15 pm Poem for June and 2 last JUNK/FOOD pieces (5 minutes)

NEVER, NEVER, BE FORGOTTEN

READY, TEDDY, GO...
THE TRUE LIGHT

9:20 pm Shy Yeti finishes with some old favourites… (10 minutes)

MY DOG IN A DRESS
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE
THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS
I WILL EAT PIES

9.30 pm Show ends

JUNK/FOOD –
10TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
FRIDAY 18TH NOVEMBER 2011

IN GREATER DETAIL


Doors opened at 7pm, with the first half beginning at 7.30. I began with a fair few daft poems for the first 10 minutes or so – with a mixture of old and new pieces. Most of the show was recorded by my flatmate Calum Williamson; doing a good job at short notice when my usual gig cameraman, Dan Hodges, was taken ill.

The evening began with 2 yeti themed pieces – as I usually do, however not DISCO YETI as I’ve done that one quite a bit lately. In fact I began with a completely new one called INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA which is a work in progress from next year’s ARE WE THERE, YETI!? A piece that I filmed on Friday 11th November in Topanga Canyon on my recent L.A. trip. My second piece was EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI, which is from one of my earliest collections – but also appeared in 2009’s SHY YETI RULES OK.

After this I moved on to another couple of recent poems, firstly THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, the title piece from this summer’s collection. I followed this with a very new poem called GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART, which is from ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! Which is also probably one of the newest pieces, along with INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA, that I read all evening.

Twenty minutes in and I moved on to my first few poems from JUNK/FOOD, which was one of the chief reasons that we were there. The pieces I chose were BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD, HENS AND STAGS, I AM THE GERMS and I SHOULD NEVER. After this section, it was then time for special guest, John Smallshaw to read – allowing me to sit back for ten minutes or so to enjoy some of his new work; including a particularly daft piece which he claimed to be an alternative history of the world!!! (I think he's right though! It all sounded believeable to me!)

Following John’s spot we were, by this stage, coming towards the end of the first half and I made the decision to add a poem that was from JUNK/FOOD and kind of complimented one of John’s pieces. This was HAIRCUT; not one that I had considered reading – but I used to opportunity to do so using my new Kindle! The way forward for my poetting perhaps – who knows!

After this little diversion I returned to my original plan of reading a poem that John inspired; the title of which is a play on the title of an old David Bowie song. JOHN, I’M ONLY RHYMING is a bit of a moan about how, when I started writing my books, some people seemed to like to take it upon themselves to tell me how I should and shouldn’t write a poem. This is just a call to do whatever the flip you want to! Following this piece I then did my now traditional cover version which I always say is less about the audience actually recognising the song and more about them hopefully agreeing that many song lyrics make decent poems too. On this occasion I performed Lennon and McCartney’s MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER, which often gets bad press from Beatles fans, but which I absolutely adored as a teenager (in the 80s, long after it was written) and still do. I think it went down pretty well and certainly fits in with a lot of my more macabre stories of late.

After this section I then returned to JUNK/FOOD for another three poems before the break; these three being a trio of my favourites from this collection: DISCO, THE EUROVISION HERO and THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR. After that it was time for a break!

The second half began, twenty or so minutes later after a spot of refreshment, at about 8:30 – and, as ever, I had to begin with a yeti poem. On this occasion chose YETI SPAGHETTI which appears in a couple of my collections; including my 2009 compilation SHY YETI RULES OK. After this I then returned to JUNK/FOOD, reading three pieces that I really like from the book but which I haven’t read live very often, if at all. These pieces were EMPATHY, EIGHT LEGGED DISCRIMINATION and I BELIEVE.

After this selection it was then time to read a few pieces from my new collection, FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which had only been officially released that day. In fact the night was as much to celebrate this collection as it was JUNK/FOOD – although I’m sure I will return to reading more from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE when I do my 10th anniversary show for both my blog and my second collection, ROLLERCOASTER some time in Spring 2012. The pieces that I read were PEACE OF MIND IN A TEA BAG, ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE, DEATH OF A GIRLBAND and ELEGY AT A FUNERAL FOR A SHOE – PART 1 and then after that it was time for John to read again.

By now time was getting on and so having read one of my favourite poems LITTLE PIG (another unscheduled addition to the evening), I moved on to 3 short stories from my THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection from the summer. The pieces I chose were LEGGY BLONDE, GRANDPA’S WIG and A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DIVA. Following this I read a couple of pieces from my next (as yet unpublished) collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!?; BEE BUSINESS and the “title track”. This section was finished by a further piece from this collection: NEVER, NEVER, BE FORGOTTEN in memory of June Rutter.

There was just enough time to read a couple more JUNK/FOOD pieces at this point: READY, TEDDY, GO and THE TRUE LIGHT; two of the most performed pieces from the collection. I then wrapped up the evening with some old favourites: MY DOG IN A DRESS, A LEARNING EXPERIENCE, THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS and I WILL EAT PIES. And we were done soon after 9.30! A successful evening; at least it certainly seemed to be!

I’d just like to thank all those who came along – especially Paul Hillier who came down from the Derby-area; but also to Glyn, Harry, Mauro, Gareth, Andrew, Tom, Vinnie and any who I may have forgotten or didn't know the name of… Once again I’d also like to give a big thank you to Calum Williamson for filming, to John Smallshaw for performing – and also to Julie Howell to introducing me to John in the first place!

Yeti hugs,

Paul x











PS I am currently working on the first video for the night, as well as Part 4 of YETI HUNT USA, but to tide you over here is a link to a new poem that I've just loaded on Soundcloud: DIAGONAL CAT:  http://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/diagonal-cat

PPS Thanks to everyone for taking photos on the night. I took some. Glyn took the two below. I can't remember who took the two above. Maybe my friend Paul or Calum or Harry! Well, thank you to all of you anyway!

All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

FUNERAL FOR A SHOE IS LAUNCHED - GIG THIS FRIDAY!

Hello!

Yes... I'm back safely from my L.A. trip... As you may or may not recall I did a post last week about what I got up to during that trip; although there was one last filming session before I flew home. As I didn't fly out until Saturday evening there was time for Dominic and I to pop to Griffith Park for one last trip and it turned out to be one of my favourite visits.


I had read on the internet that there was an area of Griffith Park where they had filmed the entrance to the bat cave for the 1960s version of TVs Batman; it had also been used for a number of other films and finding myself with a bit of time I decided that it would be the ideal location to head for. As it happened it was very close to the CAMP HOLLYWOOD car park where we'd walked back in the summer - on the day that I had taken photos of the cactus heart which inspired my poem of the same name. It wasn't hard to find the batcave - just taking the only other track in that area gently uphill overlooking a small park where I did a little yeti dance back in August and also took the much used photo of me camping it up in front of a sign that reads "CAUTION RATTLESNAKES!"... (This photo appears on the new cover for WOOED AWAKENINGS that appeared in last week's blog!)



Anyway - on the way up to the bat cave I finished reading a poem that I'd begun the afternoon before back in Topanga Canyon and I also decided to read a short story that I'd written just that morning which is entitled A YETI HISTORY LESSON OF HOLLYWOOD. The batcave location was so good and I got so much footage filmed, including out-takes, yeti dances and comments about the cave belonging to yeti that I decided that there would be enough footage to make a special episode separate from my YETI HUNT USA series. Knowing that I probably won't return to L.A. for a while I thought it might be nice to keep this episode until the Spring when I can realise it nearer the time that my ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! book is complete. There were quite a lot of mistakes during the reading of the story, as I was working from a hand-written first draft - although I think that managing to fluff lines up so much probably makes for a more amusing and watchable episode all in all. Anyway... So this episode won't appear for a while yet - but it's nice to think that they'll be a nice Hollywood episode for 2012 as ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! is such a U.S. based collection.



















Moving on I am very pleased to announce that FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is now available to buy from Lulu.com... Let me tell you some more and give you a few links just in case you'd like to purchase a copy!

FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is the latest collection from Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) and includes the poems LOVE-GO-ROUND, PSYCHOPATHS STILL HAVE FEELINGS, YOUR FINAL GIRL and the short stories DONE AND DUSTED, REST IN PEACE, PET and SUMMER SKIES. There are almost 100 pieces in this volume; a novella ELEGY AT THE FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and two playlets: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS and SCEPTIC.

Paperback edition. Price: £9.99, Pages: 352, Photos: Black and White, Published: November 2011, Includes especially commissioned illustrations by Pete Katsiaounis.

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/funeral-for-a-shoe/18669080

There is also an edition available in hardback which costs £16.99 and can be accessed at this link:

http://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/funeral-for-a-shoe/18670400



















FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is made up of almost 100 pieces - poems, scripts, short stories - allsorts really! That said, this book is a lot more about prose - ranging from short stories on just one page to longer pieces; there are a good dozen or so poems, however - so never fear! The book also includes the usual behind the scenes information on each piece as well as links to films and goodness knows what else! There's even a diary taken from blog entries during the time covered by the writing of the collection. Anyway - back to the actual poetry/prose... Some of the titles you may be familiar with from my Youtube/Vimeo videos - such as THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS, DEATH OF A GIRL BAND, A PERFECT MATCH, LOVE-GO-ROUND, or "MOTHER, MEET PARIS..." - but most will be completely new to you. I won't list the titles again as I did so in a previous post, which you can check out at: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.com/2011_08_28_archive.html So there!! ;)




















Lastly, before I go I would just like to mention that my 10th anniversary JUNK/FOOD show takes place this Friday... (Very soon!) I have all my readings selected and prepared and am very excited to be able to confirm that the excellent John Smallshaw will be reading too on the night... Eagle-eyed readers may remember that John also joined me during my AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS show back in the Summer. Well, he's back and it sounds like he has a good deal of interesting new material to share with us!

If you weren't there in June at the show and haven't had a chance to watch the videos from the night on youtube or vimeo... (Quite frankly, why not!? Go do so now... They've been up since June, you lazy, lazy X-Factor time-wasting people! Ahem... Sorry, I had a moment there! Who said that!?!) Where was I!? Oh yes, if you weren't there at the show and you haven't seen the videos then you can read more about John on his website...

http://johnsmallshaw.com/

As mentioned before you can also watch him perform on two of my poetry videos from earlier in the year...

AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS

Youtube: http://youtu.be/elRJeAeKEA8
Vimeo: http://www.vimeo.com/25376522

There's also a video called ANOTHER EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS which John also appears in and which you can find on either of my profiles - but you'll come across that when you click on the previous link, no doubt... Oh... Here it is; go on... Don't say I'm not nice to you! ;)

Youtube:  http://youtu.be/j_P-VKNeUtA

Anyway - that's quite enough about the show, except to say that kick off is 7.30 at The Poetry Cafe on Friday 18th November!! Next week's post will be all about the evening, so they'll be a lot more about the evening then...



















There's lots more happening before the end of the year - I'll be writing about upcoming episodes of YETI HUNT USA, maybe posting one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and I'll also be back on Radio Wey at the start of December!

So lots more to come in 2011!

Here's hoping to see some of you at the Poetry Cafe show on Friday! :)

Yeti hugs,

Paul x


All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011. Thanks to Dominic McCauley for taking many of the photos during the trip.

Saturday, November 12, 2011



























HAVING A GLORIOUS TIME IN CALIFORNIA!

WISH YOU WERE HERE!


Hello folks,

I really don't intend this as a gloating exercise - it's really not! Partly I just want to be able to keep up with my weekly posting on the blog until the end of the year and also to update you on the trip and what I've got up to creatively. No photos to share with you yet - just a couple of redesigned covers for my WOOED AWAKENING collection. I'm not re-issuing it or anything - just updating the cover to be more in line with some of my other recent releases.

As I have already mentioned my intention is to continue filming YETI HUNT U.S.A. As you may recall the first five episodes were filmed in July and August - the first three of these are already up on Youtube and Vimeo, with the 4th available any day now. This trip I have been working on what will hopefully round off the series with a final 3 episodes. I'm aiming to read a poem or two from my 10th anniversary re-issue of JUNK/FOOD as well as one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which is due out on the 18th November 2011 in time for my show.

Having brought my suitcase into work on Thursday 3rd November, the trip moved apace after work on Friday 4th November when I headed for the Jury's Inn hotel near Heathrow airport - flying out at 10.30 am on the Saturday morning...

Saturday 5th - Sunday 6th November

Alas, neither Dominic or I were feeling our best on my arrival - a mixture of jetlag, the ends of a cold and goodness knows what I picked up on the plane! :( It even affected my appetite! (Unheard of!) Luckily, it didn't last long and we were feeling well enough to see our friends Patrick and Julia on the Sunday - but I only took a few establishing shots and a couple of photos! Not up to the usual prolific yeti standard by any means!

Monday 7th November

Dominic and I headed off to San Diego on Monday morning. Neither of us were exactly feeling our best - but we got their safe enough and did a nice walk around the city. I didn't do a great deal of specific filming, but I did get a lot of establishing shots and photographs and some nice footage of a sunset down at the harbour.

Tuesday 8th November

Tuesday I was definitely feeling a bit more my yeti-self. That said, I still managed to reach our first port of call for filming without the battery in my camera and Dominic was nice enough to drive us back to the hotel so that I could pick it up and we returned to almost the same parking space without too much trouble at all. The majority of filming that morning took place in the Cacti Garden in Balboa Park where I managed to film an old poem called I AM THE GERMS from my JUNK/FOOD collection - not to mention some linking bits and pieces and a couple of daft sketches. After taking a walk around some of the other gardens we drove in the general direction of Torrey Pines State Reserve, although didn't really find quite the location that I was hoping for. I'm sure had we found the right entrance than it would have been a good place to film - but our map didn't really show the full extent of the reserve and the only part we found looked a bit like a desert on top of a cliff! In the end this definitely worked in our favour because we ended up in La Jolla Cove - which I pretty much only chose for us to explore because of the word "cove"! Not only were there some little caves to film in and a cute little beach - but also about a million seals, pelicans and goodness knows what else! In the end I only filmed some sketches and linking bits - but that was just the sort of thing I was looking for as I expect the footage to be used in an episode that will also probably use footage from my forthcoming November 2011 Poetry Cafe show.

Wednesday 9th November

Wednesday we were due to head back to L.A. from San Diego; although we did do this - we also filmed a little scene in our hotel room involving the mysterious "Yeti X" and then once back in L.A. we played a quick visit to Griffith Park and I recorded a version of DOLPHINS CAN BE SOCIABLE from my 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD.  Dominic and I went to see The Bangles that evening at House of Blues on Sunset Strip - which was the best gig I've been to since I saw The B-52s in 2008 or 9, back in London.

Thursday 10th November

Not a great deal of filming was planned for today as it was my birthday and we were heading for Disneyland; that said I did lots of little bits and took photos that I'm sure will turn up somewhere. I'll probably use some of Disneyland's fireworks at the end of one the episodes too - but shhh, don't tell them! All in all it was a fantastic birthday day out! Thanks all to Dominic (and Mickey Mouse!) :)

Friday 11th November

That's today! At least where I am! I always knew it was going to be one of the busiest of the trips over here - but the week went so quickly! Friday we managed to fit in trips to some of my favourite L.A. places - from Cici's cafe for brunch to Cd Trader record ship and Peet's Coffee, just across the road. We then headed to Topanga Canyon - scenes of many of my previous episodes of SHY YETI ON LOCATION, where I filmed a number of short stories and 2 or 3 poems too - not to mention a couple of yeti dances and many various sillnesses. I won't named exactly what I filmed, as yet - as one or two of the pieces might be held over to episodes for 2012; so I'm not sure yet when it'll all be available. What I can say is that there was a piece from JUNK/FOOD and one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE - not to mention a piece called INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA - a very new poem which is due to make it's live debut at my Poetry Cafe show next week and which will probably eventually appear in my ARE WE THERE, YETI? collection during 2012. There was plenty of additional silliness too!

Sadly I'm off home tomorrow (Saturday) - although I should get some quality time with Dominic and manage a few last photos and films before I head off; probably in Griffin Park somewhere. All I wanted to film for this last visit has certainly been achieved - and more! If all goes to plan then this may well be my last trip out to California for a while; although certainly not my last to the States.

This time next week I'll be doing my Poetry Cafe show! It's all go, innit!? More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. To finish with a couple more covers - the one for WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS uses another of the photos from my previous trip to California this summer.

P.P.S. Please note: The Copyright of this post belongs to Paul Chandler, 2011. Thank you!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

A NEW YETI INTERVIEW WITH THE BEARGRRRIANS!


Before we begin the interview - two more links:

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 3

THE HILLS ARE STILL ALIVE!!! is the third episode of a new SHY YETI ON LOCATION series - YETI HUNT U.S.A., which returns us to the U.S.A. on the hunt for Shy Yeti's yeti relatives... We begin our hunt in L.A. once again - but we will be moving to a few other locations during this series. At time of posting I'm not sure how long this series will run for - several episodes were recorded back in August 2011 - with further ones still yet to be filmed during November 2011... We'll just have to see how the hunt pans out! Along with the usual daftness, this episode features some rather nice scenery - not to mention a new yeti dance, a new piece called RATTLESNAKES - a couple of 100-word stories (LAID and LEGGY BLONDE); the first of which was recorded live and is previously unavailable footage from my April 2011 Poetry Cafe show . This episode also stars my faithful sidekick Dominic McCauley who also helped me film the episode, not to mention a bear named Sidney. Music is by Luca. The footage from the show was filmed by Dan Hodges. This film is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011.

Youtube link: http://youtu.be/Wa5JcEK0d0g

Vimeo link: http://vimeo.com/31474677

I'm currently editing PART 4, which to use a phrase that I used to attribute to episodes of my 1990s series SUTTON PARK, is probably going to end up being a "bimbo episode..." A bimbo episode is one which mainly has nice views and not a lot else going on. In the case of YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 4 there are a lot of lovely views from my trip to Portland; although there is previously un-released footage of me at my April 2011 Poetry Cafe show - a few sillinesses and a yeti dance in a spooky forest near Mount Hood. It'll also be about 5 minutes longer than the other episodes as there are so many nice views to show you. There is one more episode to come after that, also filmed in Portland - which uses up the rest of my Summer 2011 trip footage and then I'll be recording the last 3 episodes during my trip to the States next week.

Anyway... Enough about all this, for now... It's time for the interview!!

ANOTHER SLIGHTLY-OVER 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI


Here is an interview that I did recently with a Beargrrrian magazine called THE GROWL GAZETTE – they know me over there due to my dubious connection with a certain Beargrrrian superstar named Charlie Grrr. They interviewed me earlier in the year when I was finishing my YETI HUGS book – but now they want to speak to me again! They must be short of people to interview. This time I’m speaking mainly about my new book. So, here’s what they asked and what I said in reply – straight from the horse’s, erm – yeti’s mouth, as it were!

Q. So, Paul - tell us about your latest book. Firstly, what’s it called?

A. Well, the title of my next collection is FUNERAL FOR A SHOE.

Q. FUNERAL FOR A SHOE? Where did that title come from?

A. A very good question! It partly came about because I’ve had a bit of a Converse trainer fetish over the last 18 months or so and now own over 20 pairs; much to the horror of some of my friends! *That would be you, Harry! Nobody else cares! ;)* I think I was probably mulling over how I would feel when the first of these pairs had to be retired to the great shoe-box in the sky and wondered whether I should hold a funeral for them! (I’m not being entirely serious here, mind!) The more I thought about the title the more I actually thought, “Hey… I could do something with this idea!” and then over the next few weeks I came up with the five elegies to commemorate the shoe – five crazy adventures that the shoe and its owner experienced which led to its demise! In around March 2011, during a trip home to Wiltshire, I took a number of photos of me looking mournful with a pair of old trainers, which appear on the cover and the project just took off from there…

Q. So is this collection all stories? Or does it also involve poetry?

A. It’s both. It’s a little like my last collection THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE in that it is prose and poetry – although on this occasion there are a lot more stories than poems and the stories are a little longer than 100 words. There is also a series of 5 prose pieces under the title ELEGY AT THE FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which is just that – 5 quirky adventures about a gentleman and his trusty pair of trainers! There are photos, illustrations and all sorts! Plenty going on!

Q. You’ve worked on four different collections of prose or poetry in 2011?

A. Well, pretty much – they’ve not necessarily all been published during this year. There was YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS that I published in the Spring; although most of the writing for this was completed during 2010. Whilst proofing that collection I put together the VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE book which I began in late 2010, but which was completed pretty quickly because it contained a lot of my 100-word stories. Because I was reading them live quite quickly after writing them they didn’t take so much time to proofread. Whilst proofing VAMPIRE COWS I started work on FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and finished the first draft of that by late July and by now (late October) have made the decision to publish in time for my Poetry Café show on the 18th November 2011. The last thing commissioned for the book were illustrations for the FUNERAL FOR A SHOE novella – and these have been done now! They’re very good! (Blog Ed. You can see one of them in my previous post.) Since late July I have been working on a collection called ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! which is mainly short stories and a few poems. I have over 80 pieces complete for it – but will probably work on it until the end of the year and so it’ll probably be out by early-Summer 2012. Along with these 4 books I have been working on 10th anniversary editions of my first four poetry collections, which will be released between late 2011 and early 2013. On top of that I have also been putting together three Mouse of Commons collections – one novel: THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM which was published in the Summer – its sequel THE SPLINTERS OF TIME, which I don’t expect to be ready until 2013 – and a collection of short stories and a novella called TALES FROM THE MCWHISKERS ARCHIVES, which I expect to be my 2012 Mouse release and which I have been working on, on and off since mid-2007.

Q. How does FUNERAL FOR A SHOE differ from your last books YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS and THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE? which came out during the first half of 2011?

A. Well, in that it is a book of short stories and poems it is relatively the same – with my usual mix of dark humour and horror – but the stories are perhaps a little longer than VAMPIRE COWS and obviously they’re all completely new stories. I don’t really want to say more of the same; that always sounds negative – but I think there’s a really good mix in this collection – certainly there’s plenty going on! You won’t find much white space in the book; all of the 356 pages are either full of writing or photos of one kind or another!

Q. What caused your shift over to more prose-based pieces this year?

A. Well, I guess I’ve been gradually moving that way – it’s not as if I made a concerted decision. The stories I wrote last year for YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS started it off and then discovering the 100 word stories in January really made a difference and led to me writing the new batch of 100-worders that were included in THE VAMPIRE COWS… Having done so many of those in such a short time I then naturally moved on to the slightly longer pieces that are in FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! It’s just happened, no planning – just natural development. All I can add is that it’s been a great journey and lovely to look back a year or more later and see some progression.

Q. Tell us about some of your favourites from the new book - which pieces are you most proud of?

A. Well, I like them all in different way; I wouldn’t ever select a piece for a collection that I downright hated – but some I’ve started performing and seem to work very well in that environment. Once I start performing them I guess they naturally become my favourites because I’m still closely associating myself with them long after the book is completed. Such examples in this collection include ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE – which is a sort of reverse-take of the whole rock and roll world… DEATH OF A GIRL BAND – which I read in Paris and which is extremely silly. It was also nice to be able to finally complete the pilot episode of a radio series that I began in 2004 called THE BEAST OF FRIENDS – and I have since decided to continue with the other episodes of the series having completed that first one. I’ve also very much enjoyed performing the poems LOVE-GO-ROUND, “MOTHER MEET PARIS…” and THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS – two of which made their live debuts at my Poetry Café show in June 2011 and later again in L.A. during the Summer.

Q. Talking of which… How is the performance poetry going?

A. Good. Although I’m still glad that I main outlet for it is my poetry films. It’s definitely a medium that I feel more at home with; but I do love performing to an audience now and again. I’m just not a competitive person – so the idea of Poetry Slams really doesn’t appeal. I’m not sure I see a need to prove that one poem is better than another. Certainly some people seem to get a lot out of it, but at the moment it’s really not for me. Far too sociable! But I do like doing my own charity gigs with other like minded poets; as I did back in the Summer and it was great to be invited to be the guest speaker at The Cobalt Café in Los Angeles in August.

Q. Are there any of your new pieces that you feel are working especially well when performed live?

A. Definitely – although in a way 2011 has been far more about prose than poetry… I mentioned it earlier, but my piece THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS seems to have gone down pretty well, this year – which was certainly a pleasant surprise as it was one that just came together ridiculously quickly. I debuted it at my charity show for Wood Green Animal Shelters back in June and then again at the Cobalt Café in L.A. in August.

Q. When is your next show?

A. I'm doing another one at The Poetry Café next month, Friday 18th November. It’s partly a 10th anniversary show for my first collection JUNK/FOOD – but is also taking place on what will be the launch date for FUNERAL FOR A SHOE. I also hope to read one or two piece from my first book of 2012, ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! and maybe some 100-word stories from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE. I also have a special guest with me that night and it’s all for charity – on this occasion for SHELTER… http://www.shelter.org.uk/

Q. Any other upcoming shows?

A. Well, following on from my Anniversary show that will probably be it for the year; except that I’m due to return to RADIO WEY on the first Saturday of December. I am hoping to arrange another show in early 2012; probably in March or April to celebrate the 10th anniversary of both my blog and the ROLLERCOASTER collection… So I’m expecting great things from next year – along with any writing projects I complete; although 2010 and 2011 will be hard years to beat for the range of things I’ve managed to achieve. But 2012 is looking to be a great year for another reason – but that’s between me and my muse!

Q. How is the SHY YETI ON LOCATION series progressing?

A. Very well, I’d say. I had a few editing problems during September and October, but have over-come them. They seem to be mainly down to me trying to be a bit too fancy on the special effects side! In the last month or so I have added a number of new films – some smaller “nugget-sized” episodes from my trip to The Isle of Wight – one from my appearance on Radio Wey in October 2011 and three episodes of my new series YETI HUNT U.S.A., which I filmed whilst out in the States during July and August. I’m currently working on Part 4.

Q. What about the episodes that you filmed in Lille and Brugge last month. When will these see the light of day and what about your return to L.A.?

A. Well, the European episodes are safely in the can, but are yet to be edited as I want to release the YETI HUNT U.S.A. series in order and it’s looking like there will be 8 episodes of that. Five of them I filmed in the Summer and the other three I intend to film when I head off to Los Angeles again this weekend. I’m expecting there to be enough footage for an episode in Lille and an episode in Brugge, as I read a number of poems, showed off plenty of nice views and also did plenty of daft things – including, of course – a yeti dance! I’d have probably recorded even more if I hadn’t run out of battery power, with no chance to recharge! (Long story!) There’s a good possibility that they will either end up as my unofficial not-especially festive 2011 Christmas special; either that or my first films of 2012!! During the European episodes I decided to focus on my re-issued 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD and so only read poems from this collection. As for the return to L.A., well – I plan to finally meet my yeti relatives, read a mixture of old and new pieces and there is also another road trip planned… Watch this space!

Q. Can you tell us where the road trip will be too?

A. You want an exclusive? Okay… Dominic and I intend to head for San Diego. I’ve been looking into possible Yeti Dance locations!! There should also be plenty of time when I’m in Los Angeles to re-visit some of my old haunts; this may be my last trip to L.A. for a while - if not to The States itself. So, I’ll be back to Griffith Park and Topanga Canyon for a start and then we’ll see what happens!!

Q. How did your residency at the Cobalt Café go during your last trip?

A. Good, I think. I really enjoyed it. It was great to be able to read a wider range of poems this time too and get a feel for what works in L.A. compared to the reaction that I get in London. It’s not always the same pieces. Alas I won’t be able to return for open-mike during this trip as I should be in San Diego that night. Don’t forget to check out the video of the night at either http://youtu.be/o_Zm4wgiJSY or http://vimeo.com/27559840

Q. So after FUNERAL and ARE WE THERE, YETI?! What next?

A. The collection after these two is due to be titled NOT AS SHY AS I WAS and it’s a collection of short stories and poems, rather like VAMPIRE COWS, FUNERAL and ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! Although I doubt it’ll be ready until late 2012. ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! is almost done – but NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is currently only a twinkle! I’m also working on the sequel to SHY YETI RULES OK; SHY YETI STILL RULES OK and another compilation called CACTUS HEART and further 10th anniversary editions. I intend to release new versions of my first 8 books, published between 2002 and 2005 which takes us up to my first Lulu collection. After that I guess I’ll consider re-vamping some of those mid-period books: POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR etc. I’ll be very old by then – I’m already considering quite how to celebrate my 40th birthday in 2013 as far as my writing goes!

Q. Are there any other projects that you want to mention?

A. Another Mouse of Commons book – well, two, really… My aim is still to produce one Mouse book a year – but I am usually working on two. I am currently doing the final proofing on my book for 2012, a collection of short stories which have been in the pipe-line for quite a while. It’s called TALES FROM THE MCWHISKERS ARCHIVES and the six stories were written between 2007 and 2008; but due to a backlog I’ve only just caught up! The stories are nice and diverse; one is co-written with my friend Gareth Bellis – one is set in Milan and features a lot of photos from a trip I took there which influenced the story… I’ll say more on all this nearer the time, of course. I’m basically just doing the proofing and the formatting at the moment. The 2nd book that I’m working on is provisionally entitled THE SPLINTERS OF TIME and I don’t expect it to be ready until, at least 2013. It’s the sequel to this year’s GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM. Along with all the poems and short stories I am also working on a radio series called THE BEAST OF FRIENDS… I completed the pilot to be included in FUNERAL, but have now decided to complete the 8 episodes that I originally envisioned back in 2004.

Q. Are you planning more Sutton Park? Isn’t 2012 the 20th anniversary of the original series?

A. Definitely. In fact there are two or three episodes filmed last year still to edit which I want to get around to; but I’m not intending to edit any more episodes until I’ve caught up with the poetry ones. I guess I should have caught up by early next year and there is usually a gap between January and Easter where I don’t go away; so maybe then. Incidentally, having recently updated the ratings on my video I notice that my top 3 videos are all Sutton Park episodes – with the first episode having almost double the ratings of its nearest competitor. My theory is that it’s people looking for Youtube videos of the actual Sutton Park near Birmingham.

Q. Any last words, Paul?

A. Well… A funny thing happened last night. I was reading a paper the other day and saw that an up and coming children’s writer was working on a book called THE HEX FACTOR, which made me laugh. I actually used that title for a short Mouse story years ago! Gladstone leads the way ahead, as ever! As far as joke titles go it’s a bit of an old pun now, I’d have thought – but anyway! It was a daft enough title when I used it! I’ve always said that I try and give my stories titles that I hope are unique – that one was for a while, I guess! I’m not going to change it now!

Q. No way! You used it first. Well, thank you again for speaking to us, Paul.

A. That's okay – my pleasure! Thank you for having me for the second time in one year – hopefully we’ll growl again soon. I’d just like to pass on all my thanks to every one in Beargrrria for all their support and good will over the years...

So, there you have it!

I hope you enjoyed that! More soon! Probably written whilst I'm out in the States.

Yeti Hugs, Paul xxx

All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler / The Growl Gazette, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

FUNERAL FOR A SHOE WILL BE OUT IN NOVEMBER...

...AND THIS IS SOME OF THE FAB ARTWORK FROM IT!!

Hello!

Yes, it's true! I wasn't sure whether to release this book before or after Christmas - but it's been thoroughly proofread - all the artwork has been received and I'm well over half-way through writing it's sequel! Not to mention that but I have a gig on 18th November for JUNK/FOOD which is the perfect time to release both - the old and the new! :)

Oh - and that artwork at the top of the page! What do you think? Great, isn't it? I'd like to put all five pieces up on the blog - but then you wouldn't need to buy the book!

So... Who drew this, you are asking!?!

Pete Katsiaounis, that's who!

There may well be more about Pete to come and he's also working on some new pieces for my next collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!?, but for now you can learn more by clicking on a link to his site:

http://www.inkandmanners.com/

Pete has done an illustration for each of the five stories that fall under the novella (or whatever it may be - five slightly quirky pieces under the title ELEGY AT THE FUNERAL OF A SHOE... that are the backbone of my next collection.) Anyway - you're not going to see them all - this one is just a taster; you'll have to buy the book to see the others!

Moving swiftly on... So, how was my trip to Lille? Did I mention that I was also going to Brugge? That's Bruges to some of you... I'm spelling it the authentic Dutch way, don'tcha know!?!

Well, anyway! It all went very well; even though I did leave my adapter plug at home! I did remember the charger - but that wasn't much good without the adapter! I simply didn't have time in my schedule to pick one up and so I just ploughed on with what battery power I had. (Yeti Ed. Did you like that last bit - I think it made me sound like a rock star or summat... Although if I was really a rock star then I'd have someone to run around and do stuff like buy me an adapter. I'd also have a team of camera men following my every move! I wouldn't be doing it myself... How boring THAT would be! I like making my films! Personally, I just didn't want to troll around Brugge's version of DIXONS to find one! hehe) In the end I had more than enough power to film plenty of footage in both Lille and Brugge; including three poems from my recently re-issued 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD, lots of scenery, a bit of silliness and, of course - the most important bit: A YETI DANCE! This one filmed down a back alley in Brugge! How glam!

Hopefully some of the photos from this trip will emerge in one of my books next year; as for the proposed SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode, I am hoping that I'll have that done once YETI HUNT U.S.A. is completed around Christmas 2011/New Year 2012. There are also few photos at the end of this post. Anyway, all you need to know for now is that it all went very well and I didn't accidentally press delete and lose everything like I did during my trip to Venice last November!!



Whilst we're here - here is the Vimeo link to the second YETI HUNT U.S.A. episode:

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 2 (VIMEO LINK): http://vimeo.com/31115079

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 3 should be up by next week on both Youtube and Vimeo if all goes to plan!!
And a quick update on the ratings of my many various yeti videos - I'm just going to reproduce the top 40 on this occasion!! SUTTON PARK episodes are still leading the way, even though it's been well over a year since the first 7 episodes were posted; I will return to the series in time - probably for its 20th anniversary next year! The rest of the top 40 is made up of a mixture of videos - some of them dating back to my first batch in 2008, others to my first batch of SHY YETI ON LOCATION episodes from 2010, however there are already a fair few from the episodes released this year; with A YETI IN WINTER seeming to have gone down particularly well, so far. Yay! Thanks again to everybody who's been watching them!

RATINGS FROM YETI VIDEOS – AS OF 25/10/2011


1st SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 1 = 405 views
2nd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 2 = 232 views
3rd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 3 = 230 views
4th SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 192 views
5th BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 170 views
6th SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD = 166 views
7th SHY YETI'S VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL = 163 views
8th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 4 = 156 views
9th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 147 views
10th UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 139 views
11th OUT AND ABOUT WITH SHY YETI = 137 views
12th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 1 = 136 views
=13th I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES = 135 views
=13th A YETI IN WINTER = 135 views
=15th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 6 = 124 views
=15th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 7 = 124 views
17th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 5 = 121 views
18th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 = 115 views
19th SHY YETI AT THE COBALT CAFÉ = 113 views
20th SHY'S SNOW SPECTACULAR = 112 views
=21st SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES) = 98 views
=21st SHY YETI TALKS = 98 views
23rd YETI SPAGHETTI = 97 views
24th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 (2) = 90 views
=25th SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY = 80 views
=25th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 4 = 80 views
27th A PERFECT MATCH = 74 views
=28th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 72 views
=28th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 2 = 72 views
30th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 3 = 69 views
31st SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES) = 67 views
=32nd LITTLE PIG = 63 views
=32nd YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES) = 63 views
=34th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 2 = 61 views
=34th SUTTON PARK – PART 8 (1 OF 2) = 61 views
=36th MY MOMENT IS NOW = 58 views
=36th PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 58 views
38th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 1 = 57 views
39th A YETI IN PARIS = 55 views
40th SHY YETI LIVE – 02/04/2011 = 54 views

That's all for now - enjoy some of the photos from my Lille trip...

More next week - we have an interview for you with... erm... me!

Yeti Hugs,

Paul xx

A FEW MORE LILLE AND BRUGGE PHOTOS

Here are a few photos from my recent trip - my mission (which I chose to accept and which wasn't impossible...) was to read a few old poems, say a few daft things and to manage another yeti dance on foreign shores! The contents of this post, including all photos are Copyright Paul Chandler / Shy Yeti 2011