Tuesday, September 08, 2009

THE SHY LIFE, NEXT POETRY CAFE GIG AND DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS???

Hello,

Just an update on the current poetic state of play in my fur-filled neck of the woods...

My next gig at the Poetry Cafe is on Wednesday 16th September; be there for a glass of wine around 7 - the readings start as near to 7.15 as possible. More on that next week - but you can check my FACEBOOK group for the full details and directions.

At my gig I'll be reading a mixture of old and new poems - but with the focus on my recent CAVEMAN LOGIC collection. Moving on the future though I can reveal that my next book will be revealed on Friday the 6th of November as part of my birthday celebrations. This book has 50 new compositions written during the summer of 2009, as well as links to all my BLOGTV performances and photos from my recent European Tour. The book is called THE SHY LIFE - as you'll have seen from the provisional cover above; it's 250 pages long and will be available for £9.99 from Lulu.com and here are the titles of the poems included:

AN ESKIMO IN MY TEA...
ARREST ME, HANDSOME...
THE BALLAD OF THE PIE-PIPER...
BITTER SWEETHEART...
COLIN THE CUSTARD-EATING SPIDER...
COMPLETE ME...
THE CREATIVE GNU...
CRY WOLF, VIRGINIA...
A DARK SIDE TO YOU...
DOING WELL FOR HIMSELF...
DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS...
FAME FOR BEGINNERS...
A FETE WORSE THAN DEATH...
THE FLAMINGO WHO HATED PINK...
FULL OF HOT AIR...
GOODBYE, YET NOT FAREWELL...
HOLLYWOOD: LOW BUDGET...
HOORAY FOR BEARS...
I LOVE YOU, BUT...
I MUST’VE BEEN REALLY BAD...
I WANT TO DIE WITH STYLE...
I’M JUST TOO GOOD FOR THE MOVIES...
IF YETI WERE SHY...
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME...
IT’S EASY BEING NICE WHEN YOU’VE A BUTLER...
IT’S MUTUAL...
I’VE HAD ENOUGH...
I WOULD NOT MAKE A GOOD DRAG QUEEN...
KISS ME QUICK...
A LITTLE VIKING...
LOVE’S SWEET GUESSING GAME...
MAKE ALL YOUR LIES TRUE...
MAKING TOAST FOR THE ENEMY...
THE MAN WHO ATE CATERPILLARS...
MY BEAUTY IS NATURAL...
NOTHING CAN SAVE US NOW...
PARALLEL WORLD...
PRISONER: CELL BLOCK MOUSE...
PROUD TO BE A LIBRARIAN...
RESCUING BEAR CUBS ON BUSES...
SLEEPING STANDING UP...
STEALING MY THUNDER...
THERE AREN’T ANY NEW TRICKS...
TO HULL AND BACK AGAIN...
THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD...
THE UNSUCCESSFUL SUSSEX SEX-PEST...
WARM SHEETS...
WHEN THE CAT SAW THE BOY...
WOLF-WHISTLING WORKMEN...
THE WORLD AND HIS WIFE...


THE SHY LIFE was proofed during my summer tour, hence a lot of the photos coming from that trip - and I have just sent off for a final proof copy and intend to be making final changes in early October, in ready for the book launch on Friday the 6th November 2009.

I can also reveal that I've written the "title track" of my first collection for 2010: which I have christened: DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? I'll post that poem up here at some point, but hope to debut it on BLOGTV sometime soon. I also intend to broadcast a BLOGTV version of my September gig - but, as yet I haven't decided on a date, time or place.

At the moment, other than preparing for the gig I'm not writing as much poetry as I have been lately as I'm busy putting the finishing touches to a Mouse of Commons book that I am hoping will be ready by new year 2010 (the start of the 10th anniversary year of the Mouse of Commons and a decade since MOUSE OF COMMONS - MOUSE OF LORDS was first completed.) I hope to write some more poems during the autumn and winter and have provisionally scheduled DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS for sometime during Summer 2010 - but knowing how prolific I have been of late who can say. Other than the one poem already completed for the 2010 collection I can guarantee that many of the photos will come from my 2nd European Tour of 2009 - as I am visiting Nice in October and Krakow in November and possibly another location during December.

To finish this post I'll return to THE SHY LIFE and post another new piece, written in Budapest back in August. It's all very silly - but there's nothing wrong with that!

More on how my gig went late next week.

Best wishes and furry hugs!

Paul x


COLIN THE CUSTARD-EATING SPIDER

Colin’s a spider who likes to consume…
As he sways on his web in some dusty old room!
He does not like prunes and he cannot stand mustard!
But what Colin adores is a bowl of cold custard…


He will not eat peaches…
He can’t abide cream...
And he doesn’t think cakes –
Are as nice as they seem!
No, he won’t lick the bowl;
For just any dessert…
No, it is only thick custard –
That can keep him alert!
It is only cold custard –
That makes him feel merry…
No, he will not eat chocolate –
Nor some lone loganberry!

Colin’s a spider who’s fond of his grub…
But he won’t eat takeaway – nor have food down the pub!
No, he won’t sit and blub; no, he won’t look disgusted!
He’ll just pour from the fridge a large bowl of cold custard!


He will not eat worms…
He can’t stomach elastic!
If he chewed on a shoe…
Things would be a tad drastic!
Neither toad in the hole –
Or Tabasco are favoured!
It’s no to corn on the cob –
And food synthetically flavoured!
It is only cold custard –
That makes his day better!
He avoids every cheese –
Yes, especially feta!

Colin’s a spider who’s fast and he’s greedy…
His eight tiny legs oh so hairy, so speedy!
But he doesn’t act needy; he can always be trusted!
Cos, what is good for his soul is a bowl of cold custard!


He will not eat sweets…
He won’t choke down ├ęclairs!
He will not eat cherries –
In bunches nor pairs!
There is no way on god’s earth –
That he’d gobble mince pies…
And he’s not one of those spiders –
That would ever eat flies…
It is only cold custard –
That he’ll gulp back in haste!
Ah, cos Colin’s a spider –
With quite specific taste…