Thursday, February 22, 2018

VALENTINE, OH MINE VALENTINE!!

WE HEART YOU, READERS...

Hello beasties!

This time we're celebrating Valentine's Day! Yes! Yes! We know we're a day or two or three or four or... well, we may be about a week late - alright, over a week - but our Valentine's SHY LIFE PODCAST episode was on time (just about!) and and that's the main thing... Anyway, I was sick last week - so that didn't help... Anyway, here it is - the Valentine's one!! (and a couple of other episodes to boot!)

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 145: A HEART-SHAPED PIE... (2018 VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL)

Here we are for episode 145 and it's time to (slightly belatedly!) celebrate Valentine's Day and it's time for a very important date... On the eve of a big Valentine's date we hear from Bettina who shares a couple of anecdotes about how she and Dameus grew closer! There are also poems and a number of messages from our regulars, not to mention a clip from episode 1800 of SUTTON PARK from 1997. Our next episode, number 146 is all about a year in pop music - yes, Nick and I will be discussing 1986!! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 145 was recorded between 28th December 2017 and the 13th February 2018. This episode was adapted from an unproduced episode which I had intended to record during 2017 provisionally entitled "Driving Miss Bettina".

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

145: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-145-a-heart-shaped-pie-2018-valentines-day-special

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 146: OLD SONGS AND ALIEN BEAUTIES! (1986 REMIX)

Here we are for episode 146 and Nick and I are discussing the music of 1986 on both sides of the pond! Meanwhile, Ikk ropes Toppie Smellie into judging an alien beauty contest and Scotty The Aussie Battler calls in to leave a message! All this and there are poems, voices, Sutton Park clips and Nick also gets to chat to some of the regulars. Our next episode, number 147 is our LIVE episode for February 2018 - and Ikk plans to practice his mind-reading skills on some of the team!! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 146 was recorded between 27th January and the 15th February 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

146: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/old-songs-and-alien-beauties-1986-remix

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 147: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - FEBRUARY 2018

Here we are for episode 147 and this month Paul himself is full of cold for the live show - but never fear, he has edited out all the coughing and snuffling bits to save you having to listen to that! Thankfully he also has some pre-recorded scenes to share where Ikk explores his ability to mind-read Paul, John and Cromitty. He truly is a talented little alien!! Bettina and Dameus phone in a message and there is extra material from an episode of 1998 Sutton Park and a chat with Nick G. Our next episode, number 148 sees us heading off to Scotland to attempt to communicate with The Loch Ness Monster! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 147 was recorded LIVE on Sunday 19th February 2018 between 9 and 10 pm, with extra material recorded back on the 24th June 2017 - and S.P. clips from February 1998.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

147: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-147-live-pride48-show-february-2018

At the end of my previous post I promised you some news about the next book that I'm publishing - I'm expecting to finish 3 or 4 (possibly more) this year which I've been working on at the same time as one another for the last couple of years. Anyway, the one that looks like being the first to the finishing line is the third season of HOT STUFF!! So - you may be asking - what's this one about? Well... I promise that I'll tell you a lot more in a week or two - just know that it's on it's way!!

Next time there will be more on the podcasts and maybe a new prose piece too... That's all for now...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOWS - COMING SOON!!


148. Nessie 1
149. Nessie 2
150. Nessie 3

This trilogy has been waiting in the archives for some time... The numbers aren't fixed - but I intend to start editing it as soon as I've released the Live February episode - as that gives me plenty of time to work on them as a three part story, although each episode is separate and self-contained; they just all three are connected by a common theme.

151. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine

This one has also brewing for quite some time - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017... I recorded scenes for this one with a number of guests throughout 2017 - and now is finally time to release it!

152. Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

153. Travel Episode

Paul and the regulars discuss plans for travel and also favourite places that they have visited over the years.

153. Peeper-napped

In which Paul receives a letter from a long-lost relative called Algernon and Ikk has his peepers stolen by Nathan/Zap. All this and Dameus worries about his voice which is beginning to change back to its more quavering form; is this going to effect both his career AND his love-life?

154. Live March 2018

Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number. I'm not sure what theme, subject or story will be involved for this one yet.

Additionally:

### Radios and Reminiscences

Whilst Paul heads back onto local radio - Cromitty has picked out some more SUTTON PARK clips.

### A Poetry Anniversary

Last week I also recorded most of an episode that mentions the 2nd anniversary - but also celebrates 10 years of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008).

### The Great Bingo Scam

Someone is rigging the bingo so that they win - is it one of the regulars or someone more sinister?

### What We Don't Like

Paul and Nick discuss a number of things that they think are over-rated...

### When Harry Met Yeti

Harry and Paul catch up and discuss a number of different topics...

### The April Fool Episode 2018

Paul turns to his friend Brocante The Antiques Dealer in this episode - but is what he suggests a big April Fool's joke or in fact his latest plan for the future of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST??

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

LIFE IS STILL SHY - BUT WHAT'S NEXT!?!

MORE PODCAST EPISODES AND MY NEXT BOOK...

Hello beasties!

This time on the blog we're going to be discussing some of the podcast episodes that I've released since we last posted and I'll also tell you about getting back on Radio Wey again with Tim and Nathan on Saturday 10th February 2018.

First up here's a little piece about me and my past creative endeavours from the Round The Archives podcast:

https://roundthearchives.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/hello-viewers-weve-always-regarded.html

That was nice, wasn't it! So kind! ;) Nick G and I recorded a new article about the 70s TV show THRILLER just the other weekend and that should be appearing in a forthcoming episode of ROUND THE ARCHIVES! Always a pleasure!

Next up - our most recent episodes of the podcast... Uh oh! Deeley's in a mood that we've kept him waiting!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 143: HELLO AGAIN, PICKLE HOLLOW!!

Here we are for episode 143 in which Mr Yeti gets a chance to catch up with his good friend and fellow podcaster, Mr Toppie Smellie from The Smellcast. There are questions! Many questions! From Paul, Yeti Uncle John and Cromitty and also appearances from Bettina, Ikk, Martin, Charlie Grrr, Cuthbert, ThatOtherRobot and even Dragon Albert! Not only are there questions - but Paul shows Toppie a Shelving Imp nest! What a joy! We also have a special appearance by The Smellcast's very own Aunt Tappie! Our next episode, number 144 has many old clips from Sutton Park from the late 90s, amongst other things! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler and Toppie Smellie, 2018.  Episode 143 was recorded between the 16th December 2017 and the 28th January 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean, PlayerFM, Overcast and also from Soundcloud:

143: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-143-hello-again-pickle-hollow

Next up we're delving deep into the past...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 144: HEADING BACK TO YESTERDAY...

Here we are for episode 144 in which Mr Yeti takes the opportunity to head back to the library where he worked between 1996 and 1998 for a Christmas Party - this gives Cromitty the chance to share a number of clips from Sutton Park which were recorded during these years; from episodes between #1612 and #2096. There are also poems - cameos by the regulars and a brief hello from one of our favourite ladies! who he also first met (along with Calum) whilst working at this library. (Yes, it's Wifey Jo!) Thanks to all the stars of this episode - both old and new! Our next episode, 145 is our Valentine's Day episode and we have a very important date to keep! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 144 was recorded between 14th December 2017 and the 5th February 2018, with additional material recorded between 1996 and 1998 as part of Mr Yeti's show, SUTTON PARK, much thanks go out to Lee F, Harry F, George W and Daphne L for their appearances.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean, PlayerFM, Overcast and also from Soundcloud:

144: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-144-heading-back-to-yesteryear/s-StNju


One of the clips that appear in this episode on audio can also be viewed as a video on my MRSHYYETI Youtube page - it is from episode 1612 and 1613 from SUTTON PARK from February 1997. There are loads more to check out on the channel!

1612-1613https://youtu.be/cO0Uzcl6HrM

Here are some photos taken during the recording of episode 144 whilst returning to Camberley, where I lived between 1996 and 1998.






Now - at the start of this post I promised to tell you a bit about going on the radio again with Tim and Nathan. I'm hoping to release what I recorded as a future podcast... Yeti Uncle John even made a brief cameo - bringing Valentine flowers in for Tim's show regular Gladys.

The poems I read were:

THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD
RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR
THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE

Tim and I also helped out with a little sketch that Nathan wrote - and I also talked a little about my future writing (and podcasting!) projects.


Next time there will be a bit of belated Valentine's chatter - not to mention info on a special episode of the podcast... All that and I'll have a new short prose piece and I'm hoping to tell you about my next book which I hope to release - hopefully sometime in April...

That's all for now...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx


SHY LIFE PODCASTS - COMING SOON!!

145. Driving Miss Bettina (Valentines Episode 2018)

This will be our Valentines Episode which means that depending on how quickly I edit episodes this one might change its number, but it is already recorded - so is raring to go!

146. The Old Songs Are The... Oldest (1986 Remix)

Paul and Nick G talk all about the music of 1986 and compare what was happening in the UK and US.

147. Live February 2018

Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number; but in Cromitty will attempt to mind-read some of the regular cast-members!!

148. Nessie 1
149. Nessie 2
150. Nessie 3

This trilogy has been waiting in the archives for some time... The numbers aren't fixed - but I intend to start editing it as soon as I've released the Live February episode - as that gives me plenty of time to work on them as a three part story, although each episode is separate and self-contained; they just all three are connected by a common theme.

151. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine

This one has also brewing for quite some time - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017... I recorded scenes with a number of guests throughout the year.

152. Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

153. Travel Episode

Paul and the regulars discuss plans for travel and also favourite places that they have visited over the years.

153. Peeper-napped

In which Paul receives a letter from a long-lost relative called Algernon and Ikk has his peepers stolen by Nathan/Zap. All this and Dameus worries about his voice which is beginning to change back to its more quavering form; is this going to effect both his career AND his love-life?

154. Live March 2018

Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number. I'm not sure what theme, subject or story will be involved for this one yet.

Additionally:

### Radios and reminiscences

Whilst Paul heads back onto local radio - Cromitty has picked out some more SUTTON PARK clips.

### A Poetry Anniversary

Last week I also recorded most of an episode that mentions the 2nd anniversary - but also celebrates 10 years of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008).

### The Great Bingo Scam
Someone is rigging the bingo so that they win - is it one of the regulars or someone more sinister?

### What We Don't Like

Paul and Nick discuss a number of things that they think are over-rated...

### When Harry Met Yeti

Harry and Paul catch up and discuss a number of different topics...

### The April Fool Episode 2018

Paul turns to his friend Brocante The Antiques Dealer in this episode - but is what he suggests a big April Fool's joke or in fact his latest plan for the future of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST??

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.

Monday, January 29, 2018

WE'RE ALL ABOUT THE ALIENS THIS MONTH!!

THIS WEEK WE SAY: "GET WELL SOON, IKK!"


Hello beasties!

How are you doing!?! I’m glad to see that you didn’t pine away too much in my absence; although I presume that this was only because you were attached to some form of life support machine. Am I right? Yes… yes… I knew I was! Well, it's okay - I'm back now... *giggles*

This week we'll be discussing a number of episodes recently that have involved the aliens... 

There are four of them! Yes, four! Oh - and we also have a new advert for the show up!

New Advert: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-advert-for-2018

Returning to the new episodes - the first is actually leftovers from two episodes that I recorded last year but never had time to release - I've compiled the two shows in one and presented them as a "lost in the archives" kind of episode! I wasn't quite sure how it would all come together - but actually I'm rather pleased with the finished episode...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 139: OUR ALIEN FRIENDS UP IN OUTER SPACE!!

Here we are for episode 139 in which Mr Yeti unearths some alien-related material that he recorded last year but which was never released. In the first segment Yeti Uncle John uncovers a mysterious song and in the second segment we hear what Ikk and his friends thought of us earthlings when first they met our team. There are also poems and archive clips from The Smellcast, LOTSL, Big Fatty, Vera Speaks... For Real and Tastes Like Burning as Ikk discusses the shows that he has encountered. Our next episode, #140 updates the story and is all about Ikk who isn't feeling at all well! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018, except for the clips from other shows included here which are copyrighted to the creators of the shows that they are associated with. Episode 139 was recorded between 27th April 2017 and the 10th January 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

139: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-139-our-alien-friends-up-in-outer-space

Our next episode is another alien-themed episode and in a way this is part of a trilogy of Ikk episodes which follow a bit of a story about why he's not been too well of late...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 140: IKK GETS SICK!!

Here we are for episode 140 in which poor little Ikk falls ill whilst helping Paul Spring-clean the Library Podcasting Studios - basically he eats something that doesn't agree with him! We also have some poems for you and Cromitty unearths clips from the first four Sutton Park episodes from 1992! We also hear from Bettina, Charlie, Martin and even Aunt Tappie and Nathan!! Thank you to Toppie Smellie for arranging for Aunt Tappie to be available for her appearance during this episode. Additional thanks to the Sutton Park team who appear in the clips from all those years ago - among them RA, DM, DA and most notably friend of the show, Harry F. Our next episode, 141 is our first LIVE episode of the year and all is still not quite right with poor Ikk! Do tune in and join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 140 was recorded between 19th October 2017 and the 4th January 2018, except for the archive material. The poem STEAL A MILLION was recorded in 2007 and is from the Shy Yeti album: SHY YETI'S FINEST HOME-BREWED VERSE (2012) which can be purchased from the following link:   https://shyyeti.bandcamp.com/album/shy-yetis-finest-home-brewed-verse

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

140: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-140-ikk-gets-sick

All appears well at the end of episode 140 - but alas this is only the beginning of Ikk's woes - as we discover during our January LIVE show!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 141: LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - JANUARY 2018

Here we are for episode 141 in which Mr Yeti does his first live show of 2018 and catches up with the chatroom whilst checking in on Ikk who is still not feeling well after last episode's dramas; thankfully Yeti Uncle John and Cromitty are there to help out. There is also extra material - a couple of clips from BFO, some slightly sad poems / prose and a little chat recorded at New Year between Aunt Tappie and Bettina du Pres. Our next episode, 142 sees Mr Yeti seeking some scientific expertise to help get Ikk well again! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018 - except for clips from Big Fatty Online in which we both appear. Thanks also to Toppie Smellie for appearing and arranging the conversation with Aunt T. Episode 141 was performed live on Sunday 21st January with extra material recorded between the 16th December and the 15th January 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

141: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-141-live-pride48-show-january-2018

Episode 142 is the end - for now - of our little Ikk trilogy - how on earth are we going to get him well again? Listen and you will see...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 142: LOOKING FOR AN IKK-LE CURE!!

Here we are for episode 142 in which Mr Yeti turns to an expert to help with finding a cure for Ikk the Alien's illness! Yes! Andrew and Lisa from the Round The Archives podcast are here to assist and whilst they're about Cromitty and Yeti Uncle John get to ask them some ridiculous questions! There are also poems and some recordings from last summer that include additional guests, Harry F and Nick G! Our next episode, 143 has one of our top returning special guests! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 142 was recorded between 13th and the 15th January 2018, with additional recordings from 6th May 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

142: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-142-looking-for-an-ikk-le-cure

I've been busy recording two new episodes this week - one will probably be out in March and the other will be held back until late May. The first of these is provisionally entitled "PEEPER-NAPPED" and it concerns exactly that - Ikk's peeper's have been stolen by Zap and Ikk wants them back! The other episode celebrates the 10th anniversary of one of my poetry collections and I share some of my favourite pieces from the book; I'm also hoping that it'll be out around the 2nd anniversary of the podcast.

In addition to these two episodes I also got up early on Saturday 27th January to record with Toppie Smellie of The Smellcast (and he stayed up very late!) and this is what we'll be releasing as our next episode... #143. We're be discussing this more next time...

At the bottom of this post is our current schedule for the next 10 or so episodes...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOW - COMING SOON!!

143. Hello Again Pickle Hollow!!
This episode is a big special show starring Toppie Smellie in which he and Paul discuss all manner of subjects from...
144. Bettina and the robot butler
This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.
145. Twenty years (and a bit) ago today
Paul returns to where he worked 20 years ago and shares clips from Sutton Park which were recorded during his time living in the same area, between 1996 and 1998.
146. Driving Miss Bettina (Valentines Episode 2018)
This will be our Valentines Episode which means that depending on how quickly I edit episodes this one might change its number, but it is already recorded - so is raring to go!
147. Live February 2018
Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number. I'm not sure what theme, subject or story will be involved for this one yet. Ideas for live show?

148. Nessie 1
149. Nessie 2
150. Nessie 3
This trilogy has been waiting in the archives for some time... The numbers aren't fixed - but I intend to start editing it as soon as I've released the Live February episode - as that gives me plenty of time to work on them as a three part story, although each episode is separate and self-contained; they just all three are connected by a common theme.
151. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine
This one has also been hanging around for a while - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017... I recorded scenes with a number of guests throughout the year
152. Travel Episode
Paul and the regulars discuss plans for travel and also favourite places that they have visited over the years.
153. Peeper-napped
In which Paul receives a letter from a long-lost relative called Algernon and Ikk has his peepers stolen by Nathan/Zap. All this and Dameus worries about his voice which is beginning to change back to its more quavering form; is this going to effect both his career AND his love-life?
154. Live March 2018
Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number. I'm not sure what theme, subject or story will be involved for this one yet.
Additionally:
Last week I also recorded most of an episode that mentions the 2nd anniversary - but also celebrates 10 years of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008).
This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2018.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

MY LAST POEM OF 2017? MY FIRST POEM OF 2018?

 A VERSE OVER SEVEN YEARS IN THE MAKING!!


Hello beasties!

This week I'll be sharing with you my first poem of 2018 - although strictly speaking it was my last poem of 2017; not that I've written many new ones in the last 12 months... Having said that I do feel like 2017 was quite a poetic year as I presented a good number of them during the 90 or so episodes of the podcast that I released - many of these poems I'd never performed previously at shows. It's nice to preserve them in an audio format - not just relying on the blog or the printed collections.

By the way, I'd like to thank Toby for the lovely photo of Deeley that I'm using at the top of the page - Deels was defiantly claiming Toby's duvet! My cuteness was involved in aforementioned defiance! :)

First up this time I'd like to share with you my two most recent episodes of the podcast...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 137: INVASION OF THE NERDS!!

Here we are for episode 137 in which Mr Yeti returns to Salisbury where he chats with Nick Goodman and their mutual friend Andy C; Andy and Paul started off as pen-pals in the late 80s, but that's just the beginning of the story... There are also some clips from early Sutton Park episodes that Andy appeared in - as well as a previously unreleased comedy sketch recorded back in 2000! Our next episode, 138 is officially sanctioned a very special friend of the show - our purry pal, Deeley The Cat! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 137 was recorded between 2nd and 4th December 2017, with material from the archives dating back to the 1990s. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

137: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-137-invasion-of-the-nerds

Our next episode was all about cats...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 138: PURRING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU...

Here we are for episode 138 in which Mr Yeti remains in Salisbury to talk with friends and family about cats - yes, CATS! Guests this episode include Nick Goodman, Andrew and Lisa from the Round The Archives podcast and also The Yeti Mother! (i.e.: mum! Not to mention more briefly - my dad, brother and niece!) Thank you guests!! There are also some cat poems  - the regulars give their informed opinions - and Mr Deeley shares a few mews with us himself! Our next episode, 139 is a "lost" episode that focuses on the aliens! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 138 was recorded between 24th June 2017 and the 14th January 2018. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

138: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-138-purring-all-my-love-for-you

Before we move on to this new poem that I've been promising - I thought I'd give you a rough list of episodes that I hope to put out over the next month or two. I'm not committing to this order - but it's the one that I'm working to at the moment. If something else comes up - or I get to interview somebody then that will probably be prioritised; but anyway...

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOW - COMING SOON!!

139. The Alien Tapes / documentary 

This is actually an episode that I began recording in the first half of 2017, but which never got finished. It was actually going to be two different episode - one of them a story about one of the cast finding a tape with an "alien song" on it and another episode about the aliens recording a documentary about humans. Quite a lot of material was recorded - so I am planning on collecting it together as a "lost episode" and recording whatever linking material is required to make it work.

140. Ikk is ill
141. Live January 2018
142. Ikk is ill - resolved

These three episodes form a trilogy involving Ikk being ill - which also filters into the January 2018 live show on Sunday 21st January 2018 and will then be resolved in the following episode.

143. Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

144. Twenty years ago today

Paul returns to where he worked 20 years ago and shares clips from Sutton Park which were recorded during his time living in the same area, between 1996 and 1998.

145. Driving Miss Bettina (Valentines Episode 2018)

This will be our Valentines Episode which means that depending on how quickly I edit episodes this one might change its number, but it is already recorded - so is raring to go!

146. Live February 2018

Once again - this episode is fixed to a specific date - so it might end up changing number. I'm not sure what theme, subject or story will be involved for this one yet.

147. Nessie 1
148. Nessie 2
149. Nessie 3

This trilogy has been waiting in the archives for some time... The numbers aren't fixed - but I intend to start editing it as soon as I've released the Live February episode - as that gives me plenty of time to work on them as a three part story, although each episode is separate and self-contained; they just all three are connected by a common theme.

150. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine

This one has also been hanging around for a while - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017... I recorded scenes with a number of guests throughout the year

Other episodes that are in the pipe-line include the inevitable (in a good way!) Live March 2018 episode of the show, more about Dusty - the missing scone-eating plant, an April Fool's episode and the much-mentioned Murder Mystery Weekend episodes - another collaboration with The Smellcast team. I've also got one or two interview episodes that I'm hoping to record over the next few weeks.

Other than the newly completed poem, that's all for now...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

P.S. The following poem was written between the 12th April 2010 and the 21st December 2018. The first 28 lines written were written on the 12th April 2010 - but then no further work was done on it until I returned to it briefly on the 8th September 2017, finally finishing it off between the 14th and the 21st December 2017. I made a few more changes before posting this on the 16th January 2018 and may still make further rewrites before including it in any future collection.

BITE


She has bite…
She's got pizazz!
Well, that's not something -
Every no-one has…
She's got the WOW!
She never quits!
With fake tattoos -
And show-biz glitz!

She's got style -
Like few before her…
The Paparazzi -
Do so adore her!
Fortune is her -
Bestest friend!
Fame may suffocate her -
In the end…
Unless, that is -
She kills it first!
Confronts it hard -
And does her worst!
You need to pause -
Be at the ready…
Should she approach -
Be sure, stand steady.
Save face, don’t let -
Her see you’re shaking!
Pretend it’s selfies -
That you’re taking!
Then saunter up -
When she’s not looking!
When she’s asleep -
Or maybe cooking…
Just make out that -
You like her fashion...
Show she’s in charge...
Admire her passion!
Folk laugh at her -
When e'er they see her…
But every one of them -
Would love to be her...

She has bite -
But she's not a tramp...
She is shameless -
But she's not a vamp!
When she controls you;
You'll be left reeling...
Your head will spin...
Enjoy the feeling...

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.

Sunday, January 07, 2018

YETI HIGHLIGHTS FROM 2017

MY CREATIVE ANTICS DURING 2017!!

Hello beasties...

Originally I had planned to go into great detail on all my creative projects for 2017 - but as I did so much (especially in podcasting avenue!) it just got a bit out of hand to be doing links to every episode and all the various bits and pieces that are here on the blog! I did it in 2016 and it was a nice post to present - but I let myself down in 2017 and didn't keep it updated and now 2018 has started...  I don't have the time! (cries!) Anyway - I'm going to talk about some of the projects that I've worked on during 2017, but first I'll tell you about some of the most recent episodes of the podcast...

Here is the last of our truly Christmassy episodes - although as we put out so many episodes around this time that Christmas creeps into a lot of the shows that came out towards the end of 2017 - and my first couple of 2018! Anyway...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 133: TWO XMAS DAY SHOWS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

Here we are for episode 133 as we go LIVE on Pride48 on Christmas Day to see how everyone is doing! Santa is in the chat-room, Toppie Smellie is keeping in touch and Cromitty, Yeti Uncle John and Charlie Grrr are helping Paul out with some amateur dramatics! There is also extra material in the form of highlights from Tim Mitchell's Radio Wey Christmas Day Show - transmitted, but not recorded on Christmas Day and which Yeti Uncle John and Mr Yeti were part of! Our next episode, number 134 is coming soon - but we're not quite sure which one it'll be! (Mr Yeti has a cold and a lack of decent internet!) All the same do please join us, won't you? Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk with any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it! The music is by Shy Yeti, Luca and The Seaford Singers (17/18 Model). All content - except for Nathan J's contributions - is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017. Episode 133 was recorded on 25th December 2017, with extra material recorded on 9th December 2017. Thanks to Tim Mitchell and Nathan Jones for the use of material from our Radio Wey Christmas Show.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

133: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-133-two-christmas-day-shows-for-the-price-of-one

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 134: SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PODCAST REVIEW OF 2017!!

Here we are for episode 134 as Toppie Smellie joins me to review the year's output of SHY LIFE PODCAST episodes! Ikk is also on hand to help out!! There is lots of natter and lots of clips! What more could one want for an episode? Thank you to Toppie for all his help during this episode and also to everyone who has appeared on the show or helped out during 2017! Thank you also to all our listeners for their support! Next episode we'll be celebrating New Year's Eve LIVE on Pride48! Do please join us if you can - or catch up with the podcast release of the episode when it emerges in early 2018. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017. Episode 134 was recorded between 18th November and 23rd December 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

134: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-134-shy-yetis-incredible-podcast-review-of-2017

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 135: SHY YETI BIDS FAREWELL TO 2017!!

Here we are for episode 135 as Mr Yeti says his goodbyes to 2017 with help from Yeti Uncle John, Cromitty and The Chat-room. Ikk is also on hand - but it soon becomes evident that the evening may not be as much of a celebration as everyone was hoping! We also have extra material - a behind the scenes segment, a creepy Christmas story and an out-take from The Radio Wey Christmas Special with Tim and Nathan. Thank you to Paul H for his seasonal message and also to my team - all my guests and to all you listeners for your support during 2017!! May 2018 be another successful year! Next episode we'll be catching up with Bettina - with a little flashback to her past, amongst other things... Do please join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017. Episode 135 was performed live just before 11pm on 31st December 2017, into the first few minutes of the new year - 1st January 2018. The extra material was recorded in late November and also between the 8th and 9th December 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

135: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-135-shy-yeti-bids-farewell-to-2017

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 136: THE PAST! THE PRESENT! THE FUTURE...

Here we are for episode 136 and we look back into the past with Bettina and Cromitty - reflect on current matters with Ikk and Paul and consider the future with Yeti Uncle John and Dameus Twinklehorn. Thank you to Toppie Smellie for allowing me to include a near-complete version of episode 450 of The Smellcast as part of this episode. Our next edition, number 137 sees Paul back in Salisbury talking to a very old friend who we've not previously spoken with! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Episode 136 was recorded on the 2nd January 2018, with archive clips recorded between 1992 and 2017! Episode 450 of The Smellcast was originally released on the 11th August 2017 and was entitled "The Life And Times Of Betsy and Tootsie", it is Copyright Toppie Smellie, 2017. All other content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

136: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-136-the-past-the-present-the-future

We've pretty much got the first two months of the 2018 season of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST either in the can or part-recorded - well, other than the live episodes, of course!

Whilst I'm at it you may wish to click on this link - it's my updated website where you can find all the episodes of the podcast in one place:

http://shyyeti.libsyn.com

Returning to the blog itself - I made the slightly unfortunate decision to change the background theme back in the autumn - I'm not really sure that I intended to, but before I knew it - it was done and I couldn't reverse it. Unfortunately this has messed with a lot of how the blog is viewed going back over past years - but I've tried to make the 2017 ones, at least follow the new format and will hopefully go back over the older posts eventually.

2017 was my 15th year of this blog and I continued to post on it regularly - usually about once a week... I won't be presenting a long list of these or of the podcasts - especially as I have just presented my SHY LIFE PODCAST Review Of The Year for 2017 and you can take a listen to that instead! I did publish a number of new stories and poems here on the blog - but they'll be released soon as part of my next collection of prose and poetry, so if you've not read them already you may end up doing so when the new book comes out in the Spring/Summer.


The following are the books that I published this year:

SHY YETI BOOKS PUBLISHED DURING 2017

This year I released the following new titles - all of which I'd been working on for a number of years.

FEBRUARY

YETI DON'T FALL BACKWARDS...

We join Horner, Warren, Katrina and Colin as they head to Italy on an all-expenses-paid trip to Venice! But there is trouble in store – murder, in fact! What can be done? Who is to blame? Who will be “got at” next? The Beast Crew try to help whilst trying to avoid getting “bumped off” themselves!

Paperback Edition: £8.99 / 192 pages

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/yeti-dont-fall-backwards-a-beast-of-friends-special/paperback/product-23078113.html

Hardback Edition: £13.99 / 192 pages

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/yeti-dont-fall-backwards-a-beast-of-friends-special/hardcover/product-23078067.html

If you'd like to read a scene or two from my book - YETI DON'T FALL BACKWARDS - a "lost" BEAST OF FRIENDS script-book, then I also posted about that during February when it was released: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2017_02_19_archive.html


AUGUST

August saw me finally releasing the second seasons of these series - the adventures continue...

HOT STUFF!! - SEASON TWO

Here we present season two of HOT STUFF!!, in which the past rolls back to cause trouble for those who work in Spectrum  Library. There are a couple of new arrivals, one who may be undead and another who may be the reincarnation of the old head librarian! It's all go... What is more, one of the staff is being haunted by the ghost of his dead wife... (144 pages)

Pbk:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/hot-stuff-season-two/paperback/product-23255432.html £7.99

Hbk:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/hot-stuff-season-two/hardcover/product-23257940.html £15.99

There is a scene from this new season of HOT STUFF in the following post: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2017_07_30_archive.html#4211328425673548397

KENSINGTON GORE - SEASON TWO

KENSINGTON GORE focuses on a trio of friends who care-take a mysterious apartment block in the Kensington Gore area of London. They are Katrina, Warren and Lucy (who also featured in THE BEAST OF FRIENDS script-series) and on this occasion their troubles come from a mysterious lady called Adrianna and also from a ruthless vampire called Lombardo Braithwaite who intends to cause murderous havoc! (144 pages)

Pbk:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/kensington-gore-season-two/paperback/product-23255394.html  £7.99

Hbk:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/kensington-gore-season-two/hardcover/product-23265841.html  £15.99

There is a scene from this new season of KENSINGTON GORE in the following post: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2017_07_16_archive.html#1930145669208407067

APPEARANCES ON OTHER SHOWS...

During 2017 I sent recorded messages to THE SMELLCAST, BIG FATTY ONLINE, VERA SPEAKS... FOR REAL, TASTES LIKE BURNING and also recorded a number of articles for ROUND THE ARCHIVES - answering questions on Cult TV and doing articles on Bergerac and the 1974 Dr Who story, Invasion Of The Dinosaurs. I also made two appearances on L.O.T.S.L. during the year. I also made a number of appearances on Radio with Tim and Nathan - and one appearance on Radio Woking, also with Tim and all of these appearances made it into SHY LIFE PODCAST episodes during 2017; with Yeti Uncle John even showing up to help out on our Christmas edition.

PROJECTS I'VE BEEN WORKING ON...

This year I've been working on the following projects - those starred projects (*) I hope will be my main releases in 2018.

*HOT STUFF - season 3
 HOT STUFF - season 5 (plans for season 6)
*KENSINGTON GORE - season 3
 KENSINGTON GORE - season 4
 THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - lost season
*THE SHY YETI SCRIPTS
*SHY YETI GOES BLOGGY

I've also been working on a book about the first 100 episodes of the podcast - but I've only got up to episode 19, so far!

I think that's about it for 2017 - although I'm sure there will be something I've forgotten! Sorry, it's not in as much detail as I did for 2016 - but I'm sure it's actually quite enough detail for most people!

Next time I'll be presenting to you the first poem that I've completed in quite some time - it's called BITE - that's all I can say for now!!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx
This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2018.

Monday, December 25, 2017

THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM SHY YETI...

THIS YEAR'S XMAS SKETCH - AND MORE!!


Hello beasties!

This week we're being all Christmassy... Ho! Ho! Ho! Come on... I'm trying!!

First up here - two of our three festive seasonal episodes of the podcast! One LIVE and one pre-recorded - although the live one has plenty of pre-recorded extra material this time too!!! I'll be telling you about our LIVE Christmas Day episode in my next post - but wanted to get this one out as close to Christmas as possible!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 131: OUR 16TH LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW!!

Here we are for episode 131 and we're back live on Pride48 for the first of three live episodes during December!! There are plenty of Christmas sounds - a busy chat-room and Yeti Uncle John and Cromitty are in the studios. All that and there is a bumper crop of Extra Material - stories, archive clips and Adam Burns answering random questions! Believe me, it's busy!! Our next episode, number 132 is our full-blown Christmas episode with lots of chatting with show guests and quite a bit of seasonal adventure! Do join us, won't you? Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti, Luca and The Seaford Singers (17/18 Model). All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 131 was recorded between the 25th November and the 17th December 2017, with archive material from the 1990s.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

131: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-131-our-16th-live-pride48-show

Our next episode up was our proper-proper Christmas Special...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 132: ALL ABOUT THE HO! HO! HOS! (2017 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)

Here we are for episode 132 as we chat on Christmas related topics with Nick, Toppie and DJ amongst others. Meanwhile Yeti Uncle John and Paul hunt for festive ghosts in the college, whilst Ikk, Cromitty and Bettina go to visit Dameus at his rest home, where Tallulah Twinklehorn's gifted students are playing a Christmas concert! All this and so much more!! Thank you to everyone who helped with this special edition! Our next episode, number 133 is our "Live On Christmas Day" edition! Do join us, won't you? Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti, Luca and The Seaford Singers (17/18 Model). All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 132 was recorded between the 20th October and the 23rd December 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

132: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-132-all-about-the-ho-ho-hos-2017-christmas-special

More Christmas still for our next episode - but you'll have to wait until next time for that one!


Next time we'll be looking back over 2017 - we really have been pretty busy this year!!

I would say "that's all for now!", but that's not the case - check out our Christmas script, which sees Shy Yeti hanging out with Gladstone McWhiskers and Oliver Louse once again - oh, and Charlie Grrr is also about, so as you can imagine it's not going to be a smooth ride. Also look out for a cameo by another of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST team who is appearing in one of my scripts for the very first time!

Take care - more soon! Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE CHRISTMAS STAR!!

A Shy Yeti celebration of Christmas for 2017

CAST:

GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS
OLIVER LOUSE
SHY YETI
CHARLIE GRRR
IKK THE ALIEN
THE MAN FROM THE MANAGEMENT
THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS

Setting The Scene:

It is late afternoon, just before Christmas and we join Shy Yeti, Gladstone McWhiskers, Oliver Louse and Charlie Grrr who are busily swanning about the Christmas Market in Hyde Park. Charlie is causing all manner of disturbances, but this gives the other time to enjoy a mulled wine and to catch up. Both Gladstone and Ollie walk using electro-powered stilts - so they are all at the same height of a normal human-being rather than being lost in the crowd amongst busy feet! As they make their way through the market and the fairground people tip their caps at the three of them - clearly aware who they are - although they are definitely more interested in Gladstone than in Oliver or Shy Yeti.

SHY: (wistfully)

I can't believe it's Christmas again! One minute it's late Summer - next it's Halloween followed by my birthday and suddenly... Christmas week! BOOM!

GLADSTONE: (knowingly/in agreement)

You're not wrong there, Yeti...

OLLIE: (concerned)

I hear your birthday wasn't exactly a success this year... You must be upset - I know how much you love to celebrate it!

SHY: (playing it cool)

Oh... I'm over it now, but yes... I got myself locked in a basement in a spooky old mansion in the country... I was meant to be going to Italy, but it simply didn't happen for me...

OLLIE: (supportive)

What a shame... You doing alright now, mate?

SHY: (still very casual)

Oh yes... For sure... Water under the bridge...

OLLIE: (making polite conversation)

Which city had you planned on heading to?

SHY: (chuckling a little)

Verona... Never been before... Still haven't been - at least I have, but only in my imagination...

OLLIE: (lowering his tone, in confidence)

Sometimes you just can't beat a good imaginary holiday... I take them all the time - working for this one who doesn't much like to vacation you bloomin' well have to!

GLADSTONE: (sounding hurt, but not really meaning it)

Now! Now! That isn't true and you know it, Oliver! You should come with us to Venice next time we go... Do you know it?

SHY: (a little over-enthusiastically)

Do I know, Venice!?! Do I ever! It's only my every favourite place EVER!

OLLIE: (encouragingly)

Then you really should come next time...

GLADSTONE: (in agreement)

Absolutely!

SHY: (keenly, but growing distracted)

I WILL! Now... (looking around the busy fairground in front of them) Where exactly are we meant to be meeting Charlie!?

OLLIE: (looking around)

Is there a pie stall here? There must be!

SHY: (still a little O.T.T.)

Mince pies, surely - it's Christmas after all...

GLADSTONE: (calmly)

Let's go and take a look around...

THEY HAVEN'T GONE FAR WHEN THEY HEAR A COMMOTION - AT FIRST THEY IGNORE IT AND THEN THEY BEGIN TO RECOGNISE THE VOICE - THE FIGURE CAUSING ALL THE FUSS IS NONE OTHER THAN CHARLIE GRRR...

(intrigued/dismayed) Good gracious! What is going on now?

OLLIE: (lowering his voice)

We can keep walking, if you prefer boss - it's not like he's our responsiblility...

SHY: (keenly)

Oh! And miss all the action!? Surely not...

GLADSTONE: (with a sigh)

I wouldn't put it quite that way... But you're right - he kind of is my responsibility - maybe I can settle him down a bit and sort out whatever the problem is...

OLLIE: (solemn)

I hope you don't regret trying, boss...

GLADSTONE: (sadly)

Oh... It usually pays off in the end, at least for a while - but then only a few days down the line we're back to square one and there's some new issue that he's caused rearing its ugly head...

SHY: (with a grin at the memory)

Sometimes literally! Remember the time he invited Nessie down to London for the weekend?

OLLIE: (also chuckling)

Don't let him hear you calling him ugly... Sorry, boss!

GLADSTONE: (wincing)

Hmmm... I don't think there's any worry of that occasion - Nessie has long since gone home, but yes - I do remember it well!

SHY: (apologetically)

I must say, I do feel partly responsible for that as it was some of my team who had been hunting for Nessie in the first place... Of course when I say "hunting" I mean that in the kindest and most sociable way possible, you understand...

GLADSTONE: (with understanding)

Of course - I don't doubt it for a minute...

OLLIE LOOKS AS IF HE MIGHT BE THINKING OF SAYING SOMETHING BUT THEN GETS DISTRACTED, FOR THEY ARE NOW QUITE CLOSE TO A STALL WHERE IT SEEMS THAT CHARLIE IS CAUSING A COMMOTION - IN FACT HE APPEARS TO BE ATTEMPTING TO DRUM UP TRADE FOR ONE OF HIS MANY CREATIVE PROJECTS... HE HAS EVEN SET UP A STALL AND HAS A RANGE OF HIS WARES THERE - ONLY APPARENTLY HE HADN'T CLEARED THIS WITH THE MANAGEMENT OF THE CHRISTMAS MARKET AND A NUMBER OF THE STALL HOLDERS ARE NOT BEST PLEASED AS HE SEEMS TO HAVE STOLEN THEIR THUNDER AND THE VISITORS TO THE MARKET ARE CROWDING AROUND THE BEAR RATHER THAN THEIR STALLS THAT ARE SELLING MULLED WINE, MINCE PIES AND OTHER CHRISTMAS-RELATED NICK-NACKS...

GLADSTONE: (with frustration)

Will somebody please tell me exactly what is going on here!?!

CHARLIE: (oblivious to any trouble that he may be causing)

Oh! Gladstone! How good to see you?! Ah! Shy! Oliver... What a splendid welcoming committee...

SHY: (trying to remain positive)

Afternoon, Charlie... What are you up to now?

CHARLIE: (proudly)

Just trying to give my public a little seasonal performance that's all...

OLLIE: (mutters)

Whilst offering them a range of Charlie Grrr-related merchandising at the same time...

CHARLIE: (matter-of-factly)

Well, of course - it would be remiss of me to show up for such an occasion and not to have anything of mine to sell them... My audience requires t-shirts, albums, dvds and blu-rays...

SHY: (trying to come up with as silly examples as he can manage)

Monogrammed pie-shaped cuff-links - personally paw-autographed extra glossy photo-album and uniquely poseable Charlie Grrr holographic fondu-set...

CHARLIE: (enthused)

Well yes, exactly... Of course! Although I'd not thought of that last one - I really must write it down!

GLADSTONE: (calmly but sternly)

Yes, well that is all very well - but you do realise that you should have gotten approval from the management here to actually do this - you need a special permit like all the other stall-holders here...

MANAGEMENT MAN: (quietly furious)

You can't just wander in here selling your trinkets - not without arranging it financially with ourselves...

CHARLIE: (very magnanimously)

No! No! It's fine... I am willing to waive any fee - you do not need to pay me anything...

GLADSTONE: (speaking low but informatively)

I suspect Mr... The gentleman here was rather expecting YOU to pay HIM for being here...

CHARLIE: (shocked/disbelieving)

Goodness! How preposterous! I am giving him free publicity... What more could he want? All these people here (he indicates the crowd) have been tweeting and posting photos on their instagram accounts telling their friends and family all about this little market of yours...

MANAGEMENT MAN: (outraged)

Begging you pardon, Mister Grrr, but we get thousands of tourists every year - quite probably millions and we have done so without your help up until now, I'll have you know... We're in the very centre of London... We have no need for additional publicity, thank you very much...

CHARLIE: (scoffing)

What nonsense! You're clearly being deliberately humorous - or you think you are... Well alas, I can tell you it isn't in any way amusing...

SHY/OLLIE: (unnerved)

Oh dear...

GLADSTONE: (attempting to intervene)

Well now... I'm sure we can sort this matter out...

CHARLIE: (disgruntled)

I don't know that there's time right now... I was hoping to sing my dance version of "Twinkle! Twinkle, Little Star..." but the star has already arrived...

SHY: (confused)

The star has WHAT!?

OLLIE: (surprised yet enlightened)

THE STAR HAS ARRIVED!! LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!?!

THEY ALL LOOK - AS DO THE PEOPLE MAKING UP THE CROWD AND SURE ENOUGH DESCENDING TOWARDS THEM IS WHAT LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE A STAR - ALTHOUGH ON CLOSER INSPECTION IT ACTUALLY RESEMBLES A BADLY DECORATED SPACE CRAFT INTENDED TO LOOK LIKE A STAR... EVERYONE SEEMS QUITE ASTONISHED BUT THEY  ARE BUSILY TAKING PHOTOS... STILL... SHY SOON RECOGNISES THE VEHICLE...

CHARLIE: (with his most impressive booming growl)

THE CHRISTMAS STAR HAS ARRIVED!!

GLADSTONE: (intrigued)

Most curious...

OLLIE: (impressed)

ISN'T IT WONDERFUL!!?

MANAGEMENT MAN: (dismayed/thinking practically)

GOOD GRIEF!! THIS IS A HEALTH AND SAFETY NIGHTMARE AND NO MISTAKE!!!

OLLIE: 

What's up Shy? You look a bit non-plussed...

SHY: (keen to explain)

Oh... It's okay... It's just that I recognise the space ship... It belongs to one of my colleagues from the podcast... Ikk... You may have heard him on the show - I'm not sure that you've ever met...

OLLIE: (nervously)

No... Oh... Goodness... What's he doing here?

SHY: (disapproving)

Well, he's a sweet fellow - but sometimes far too naive and easily lead... I suspect that Charlie has talked him into doing this in exchange for... well, goodness knows what - probably nothing at all... Ikk likes to be helpful - he wouldn't demand anything if he thought he was doing Charlie a favour...

CHARLIE: (boomingly)

SHHH NOW! SHHH! MAKE WAY FOR THE CHRISTMAS STAR!!!

THE CROWDS STAND BACK - ALLOWING THE STAR/SPACE CRAFT TO LAND AMONGST THE MARKET STALLS - AFTER A MOMENT OR TWO A DOORWAY APPEARS FROM BEHIND SOME TINSEL THAT HAD BEEN COVERING THE ENTRANCE AND IKK - A FRIENDLY LOOKING ALIEN WEARING A SANTA CLAUS COSTUME AND RATHER TOO MUCH GLITTER EMERGES... EVERYBODY APPLAUDS - EVEN THE MAN FROM MANAGEMENT WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY BEEN SO OUTRAGED...

IKK: (in his familiar high voice)

Hello everyone... My name is Santa Cuuuulause... I really shouldn't be here yet as it's not yet Christmas Day... I'm just here to say hello though and to pick up my good friend Charlie Grrr - to take him back to Beargrrria...

GLADSTONE: (grateful, chuckling)

Now that is an eventuality that I can get behind and fully support...

OLLIE: (slightly over-come)

Is that really Santa? REALLY-REALLY!?

SHY: (grinning, with affection)

Well, of course not - no... I told you... It's my colleague, Ikk... Charlie is just using him to transport all his purchases and whatnot back to his home to save having to post everything...

RIGHT AT THAT VERY MOMENT A FLEET OF VANS BEGIN TO PULL UP - EACH WITH THE LOGO OF A VERY EXPENSIVE LOCAL DEPARTMENT STORE STAMPED ON THE SIDE...

OLLIE: (surprised)

You're RIGHT!

SHY: (with mock offence)

Of course I'm RIGHT!!

GLADSTONE: (sympathetically)

Of course he is - Shy knows Charlie Grrr ALMOST as well as we do!

MEANWHILE, CHARLIE IS BUSY GETTING ALL HIS SHOPPING TRANSFERRED FROM THE VANS INTO THE SPACE SHIP - WHILST ALSO WAVING TO THE CROWD AND SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS... IKK LOOKS A LITTLE STAR-STRUCK BY ALL THE ATTENTION - BUT IS ALSO QUITE ENJOYING THE THEATRICS OF THE MOMENT...

You know what everybody... I think we can just let Charlie and Ikk deal with this matter... We're not required here...

OLLIE: (disappointed)

Oh... You mean we don't get to ride on the rocket ship...

GLADSTONE: (horrified)

NO! We do NOT get to ride on the rocket ship...

SHY: (lowering his voice)

I've done it... It's nothing to write home about - but don't tell Ikk I said that...

GLADSTONE: (chuckling)

You know I think I've seen quite enough of the market... I believe we should leave Charlie to his audience and go and get ourselves an afternoon tea - maybe even a cocktail...

SHY: (beaming)

I like your plan...

OLLIE: (wiggling his mandibles about excitedly)

I can't deny that I like the sound of that very much too...

CHARLIE: (disappointedly noting that they are departing)

YOU'RE NOT GOING, ARE YOU? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SING...

SHY: (mutters)

Just keep walking - pretend you don't hear him...

GLADSTONE: (in agreement)

Good idea... Hurry along, Oliver...

OLLIE: (glad to be going)

You're two are so cruel - although it's probably for the best... I really don't think my ears deserve the torture of having to listen to one of Charlie's tunes about how marvellous he is - they really don't!

CHARLIE: (calling after them)

HEY! GUYS! HEEEEEY!

BUT GLADSTONE, SHY AND OLLIE KEEP WALKING AND WE LEAVE CHARLIE, IKK AND THE CROWDS OF CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS ENJOYING THEMSELVES AT THE CHRISTMAS MARKET - EVEN THE MAN FROM MANAGEMENT IS POSING FOR A PHOTO WITH THE INFAMOUS BEAR WHICH LOOKS LIKELY TO APPEAR IN THE EVENING PAPERS...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS BLOG READERS!! THANK YOU FOR READING!! BEST WISHES FOR 2018!! YETI HUGS, PAUL THE SHY YETI! XXX

The idea for this script was conjured up on 12th October and was written between the 13th and 20th of December 2017, with a little tinkering right up until the day of posting. This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.