Saturday, May 19, 2018

SHY YETI'S LITTLE TRIP TO DENMARK...

SHY YETI GOES TO COPENHAGEN...

Hello beasties!

This week I'll be sharing with you some snippets and photos from my recent trip to Copenhagen; however I won't be using all my pictures this time as I'll save a few for when that particular episode of the show is released... Talking about the podcast we reached a mini milestone on the 14th May 2018 which was two years since I began recording the pilot episode. This episode was released a few days later on Soundcloud and was available on iTunes, along with episode 1 by the end of the month. We did give a little shoutout about this during our Pride48 Live Show for May 2018...

Speaking of which...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 168: PRIDE48 LIVE SHOW - MAY 2018


Here we are for episode 168 - our LIVE Pride48 Show for May 2018! After a slight hiccup at the start we catch up with Toppie Smellie and Trowby and Lisa in the chat-room, hear about Mr Yeti's recent trip and speak briefly with both Cromitty and Yeti Uncle John. All this and we have extra material - some SUTTON PARK clips and further random questions with Nick G and Andy C. (We'll have more next month too!) Our next episode, number 169 finds Paul and Bettina chatting - and we also get closer to the truth behind what made Ikk unwell earlier in the year! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler and Soundbible. Many thanks to Nick G and Andy C for recording the extra material with me - also to Nick for digitizing the S.P. clips. Additional applause - to Adam Burns for saving the day and to The Chat-room Regulars for just showing up and being there LIVE!! All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 168 was recorded live on Sunday 13th May 2018, with extra material recorded on 21st April 2018 and SUTTON PARK ep 100 clips from Summer 1993.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

168: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-168-pride48-live-show-may-2018

Next up - the second of our two episodes for this post...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 169: THE THING FROM ANOTHER... WHIRLED!!

Here we are for episode 169 - in which Paul and Bettina catch-up; Bettina also has questions for him from Jay The Hauntcub. Meanwhile Yeti Uncle John uncovers something weird in the Library Podcasting Studios and Martin has an unfortunate accident whilst presenting old SUTTON PARK clips. There are also poems and many various goings on from the regulars. Our next episode, number 170 sees Paul celebrating the 10th anniversary of his book SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION by reading some of his favourite pieces from it. Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. Many thanks to Nick G for digitising the SUTTON PARK clips - and to all who feature in them! This time they come from Winter 1994 and... erm... somewhen later the same decade; apologies - Martin's notes got drenched in coffee. Clumsy!! All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 169 was recorded on the 2nd May 2018, with an additional final scene recorded between the 16th and 17th May 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

169: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-169-the-thing-from-another-whirled

Here are some photos from my recent trip to Copenhagen. I won't be doing a full diary as the podcast covers that and I'm expecting that episode to be released in the next couple of months...





















We travelled to Copenhagen on Monday 7th May 2018 - the journey went pretty well and once there we popped out for some wine and a bit of a picnic to have back at the hotel as we didn't really want to go too far... The hotel was close to the main railway station and the room was very comfortable - and surprisingly I managed to sleep pretty well the whole time we were away; I usually don't. On Tuesday 8th May we headed out - visiting a number of parks, including Rosenborg Castle Gardens (and the castle itself!) We also had a delicious meatloaf and potato salad open sandwich and did a little shopping - not to mention quite a bit of podcast recording. Dinner was from the supermarket again; no complaints there. On Wednesday 9th May we took a boat trip around the harbour and enjoyed a good lunch of bagels in a posh department store  before visiting a couple of museums in the afternoon; recording all the way... Thursday 10th May turned out to be a public holiday - we had considered going to Sweden over the big bridge - but instead we took the train to Roskilde and visited their local museum, contemporary art gallery, cathedral and rather unmanned tourist information centre! We also ate chocolate brioche - not to mention the Wagamamas that we had once we got back to Copenhagen! Friday 11th May we were heading home, although we would have had time for a random museum visit, but chose to just sit in the courtyard at the hotel and read - oh, plus a sneaky Wagamamas... (This was our third of the week. 1 at the airport and 1 the day before!) After this we headed to the airport and all very quickly were back home with our purring beauty, Mr Deeley. My only real regret was that I didn't make it into the Tivoli Gardens - it was a bit busy for Toby and every time we passed it I was hot and tired and couldn't be bothered. My bad. I didn't really want to go on any rides - my only reason for visiting was "podcast reasons"; so never-mind.

Next time we'll have been away again - this time in Marseille and I'll be discussing that, along with what ever other episodes of the podcast that I've managed to edit...

But that's all for now...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx


PS On Saturday 19th May (tonight!) I returned to RADIO WEY with Tim, Nathan and Nathan's mum Patrisha - I recorded events and hopefully they will be part of an episode coming soon! I read the following 100-word stories and one poem and Yeti Uncle John also made an appearance:

GRANDPA'S WIG (100 word story)
A ROARING SUCCESS (100 word story)
I NEVER SAY NO TO PIE (poem)

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOWS - COMING SOON!!

May is flying by - and THE SHY LIFE PODCAST just celebrated its 2nd birthday... We're just back from Denmark and are heading off to France any minute now - but meanwhile here are some of the shows that we'll be releasing over the next few weeks...

170. A Poetry Anniversary

Last week I also recorded most of an episode that mentions the 2nd anniversary - but also celebrates 10 years of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008).

171. Yeti Uncle John's Leaving Party

Yeti Uncle John prepares for his new job in outer space - but some of the regulars are concerned by what lies in store for their old friend...

172. Radios and Reminiscences

Whilst Paul heads back onto local radio - Cromitty has picked out some more SUTTON PARK clips.

173. 1987 Is Full Of Songs

Paul and Nick discuss the music of 1987 and compare what was big in the UK with what was big in the US!

174. Call Me By Pie Name

Paul recalls when Charlie Grrr almost married a pie that he had become besotted with - but sometimes love does not win out...

175 + 176. Pride48 Live Show - June 2018 + Live Streaming Event - June 2018

These two will be released around the same time - there may be one other show in-between; we'll see.

177. Copenhagen Episode

Find out what Mr Yeti got up to whilst in Copenhagen in early May.

178. Digging Into Unheard Of Places

Paul digs through the archives to find a few interesting conversations that never made it onto shows.

179. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine

This one has also brewing for quite some time - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017 and then recorded scenes with a number of guests throughout 2017; finally I'm ready to release it!

180. A Call-Back From A Far-Off Place

Flashback Episode. Paul falls for a trick which leads him to a far off place and meets an old nemesis... or two!

181. The Return Of Dameus The Interviewer

Dameus interviews all manner of podcasting celebrities as part of his return to the chat-show circuit.

182. Marseille Episode

Find out what Mr Yeti got up to whilst in Marseille in late May.

Additionally:

### Re-connecting With The Past

Paul catches up with Cromitty and Martin and is excited to learn that Cuthbert has a few added advances that makes it possible to re-connect with the past via old episodes of SUTTON PARK... Ikk is slightly doubtful about it all - but he and Paul soon get to experience the process first-hand.

### Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

### The Great Bingo Scam

Someone is rigging the bingo so that they win - is it one of the regulars or someone more sinister?

### More About The Alien Book

We learn a little more about The Alien Book which made Ikk so unwell at the start of the year - but, of course - things are never simple.

### The Halloween Episode 2018

Paul and the gang find that celebrating Halloween is harder than usual in 2018.

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.

Sunday, May 06, 2018

OH! JUST BEFORE I GO... (ANOTHER TRIP!!)

THIS'LL KEEP YOU GOING UNTIL I'M BACK...


Hello beasties!

This week I'm preparing for my forthcoming trip to Denmark or more specifically to Copenhagen... There should be lots to see, take photos of and, of course, lots of things to record for the podcast! I'm raring to go! Oh... We also have a script for you this episode - more about that in a moment... There are also some screen-grabs from episodes of SUTTON PARK that I've recently posted on my MRSHYYETI profile. Do check them out if you get a spare hour or three! ;)


First up I've got some new episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST for you; don't forget - the links given are only those for my SHYYETI account on Soundcloud; but all episodes of the show are also available on iTunes, Acast, Podbean, Overcast and Player FM...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 165: IKK GETS A CHECK-UP!!

Here we are for episode 165 - in which Paul accompanies Ikk to a special alien hospital in London to ensure that all is well after his recent illness. Along the way there are poems - messages from the regulars and some messages between our cast and Big Fatty; not two mention old SUTTON PARK clips tooOur next episode, number 166 sees Paul reunited with his friend Gordon The Cryptkeeper for an impromptu belated Christmas Special!! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. Thank you to Big Fatty and Poodle for use of various clips from Big Fatty Online. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. Many thanks to Nick Goodman for digitizing the SUTTON PARK clips used here - the first clip is from December 1995 (1140-1141) and the 2nd from Summer 1993 (#140); both are available as extended videos on my MRSHYYETI Youtube account. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018; except clips from Big Fatty Online which belong to us both.  Episode 165 was recorded between 26th January and 5th February 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

165: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-165

The exact links for the clips in their video versions are as follows:

Episode 140 (pt1): https://youtu.be/qlE-UU4gdqs

Episode 1140-1141: https://youtu.be/j9hQPmf6RBg


Next up - before you think we're extremely early celebrating Christmas - we are actually late... Oh, it's too complicated to explain - best listen to the episode, I think... However, at the end of this post you will find a script that I wrote - which is basically the links that were recorded between myself and Gordon/Dolly during episode 166. I hope you enjoy it... And the episode itself too, of course!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 166: GORDON THE CRYPT-KEEPER'S BELATED CHRISTMAS...

Here we are for episode 166 - in which Paul catches up with new friend, Gordon The Crypt-keeper who he first met late last year and had promised to invite back to introduce his Christmas Special; only he forgot... Expecting to make his apology, instead Paul finds himself embarking on a rather bizarre podcast recording exercise - we also meet Gordon's boss, Dolly! This episode also includes plenty of interaction with the regulars, some yeti verse and clips from episodes of SUTTON PARK from Christmas Day 1995!! (They're weird and involve a zombie Santa!) Thanks to Andrew T and Lisa P from the Round The Archives podcast for helping to arrange for Gordon and Dolly's appearance during this episode. Thanks also to Big Fatty for the use of a brief clip during this edition from an old Big Fatty Online episode. Our next show, number 167 sees Paul catching up with Nick G and Andy C once again to approach them with some random questions!! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. Many thanks to Nick Goodman for digitising the SUTTON PARK clips used during this episode - this time from Christmas Day 1995. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 166 was recorded between 21st and 24th April 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

166: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-166-gordon-the-crypt-keepers-belated-christmas

This last episode before I head away to Copenhagen next week is episode 167 - it's pretty random, you know...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 167: A WHOLE LOT OF RANDOM...

Here we are for our bumper-length bank holiday weekend extra-special episode 167 where Paul catches up with two old friends, Nick G - who we've met many times and also Andy C who we've met just the once; anyway we're here to ask them a number of random questions which will result in a whole lot of chatter. There are also poems and SUTTON PARK clips, not to mention a few words from the regulars. Our next episode, number 168 sees lots of activity down in the archives as the secret of what really made Ikk The Alien ill is finally revealed.  Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. Sound effects by Paul Chandler. Many thanks to Nick Goodman for digitizing the 1994 SUTTON PARK clip used during this episode. Thanks to all who appear in this archive footage and also to Aly G for her brief cameo during this edition. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.  Episode 167 was recorded between the 21st and 26th April 2018.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

167: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-167-a-whole-lot-of-random

There will be more episodes as soon as I'm back from Copenhagen - our first one on my return will probably be our live episode for May - which I hope to do on Sunday 13th May (4pm-EDT/9pm GMT).

That's all for now... Well, except for that script that I promised you at the start...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

P.S. If you want to check up on future episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST keep on going to the end of this post, right after this script and you will find an updated forecast.

THE RETURN OF THE CRYPTKEEPER BELATED-XMAS SPECIAL!!

This script was written in January 2018 to be included as links for episode 166 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST where Mr Yeti pretends it's Christmas so as not to embarrass a forgetful crypt-keeper... The rest of this episode was ad-libbed around these scripted scenes/links for release in the Spring.

SCENE 1

To be played right at the start of the episode...

PAUL: (embarrassed, speaking only to the listeners)

Hello listeners! I'm feeling a bit embarrassed today... I've had a bit of a memory lapse and I want to make amends... Let me explain! Do you remember friend of the show, Gordon The Crypt-keeper? When we met him last time I completely told him that he could co-host the Christmas Special episode with me - but then Yeti Uncle John and I got distracted by ghost hunting in the college and the rest of the team went to see Dameus at Tallulah's Christmas Concert and I completely forgot to involve Gordon! Oops... Here he comes... Wish me luck!

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (yokel accent, attempting doom)

Note: Mr Trowby. Please adapt any lines to accommodate additional yokelisms. Thank you.

Oh! Hello you! How lovely to see you, Mr Yeti! How are you doing?

PAUL: (surprised)

Oh... Oooooh... I'm okay... I didn't expect to find you in quite such a merry mood...

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (jovial)

Why's that? Because I'm the crypt-keeper? Oh well... No... That's just my job, as you know... I'm really quite a jolly fellow when I not keeping crypts and looking mysterious... I've been expecting you! I'm just happy to see you and all your podcast listeners... I know why you're here!

PAUL: (apologetically)

Ah yes... I'm awfully sorry I'm late...

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (reassuringly)

Late? No... You're not late... We've plenty of time...

PAUL: (confused)

We have? You DO know why we're here, right?

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (enthused)

Of course... To record the Shy Life Christmas Special! Well, here I am... I'm ready! Let's do it...

PAUL: (trying to organise himself)

Oh... Oh! Yes... Right... Okay... That'll be great... Sorry I didn't send you the script in advance - we're a bit behind... You know what it's like...

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (quite blasé - slightly sadly)

Oh yes... Of course... The podcasting world must be terribly chaotic! Not like my world... Everyone's just dead here...

PAUL: (distracted)

Sure... Sure...

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON: (busily)

Well, let me just put the kettle on and I'll be back with you... I'll brew us up a nice pot of belly button fluff tea - you'll like that, right? Everyone like belly button fluff tea, don't they? You'll be alright waiting a few minutes, I'm sure...

PAUL: (jovially)

Err, yes... Of course.. Yes... Yes! I'll just... err... talk to the listeners...

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON:

Good stuff! Back in a minute!! You'll have to meet Dolly... She's in today...

PAUL: (unsure)

Dolly?

CRYPT-KEEPER GORDON:

The Crypt-keeper queen! She's kind of my boss... It's a long story... You'll love her...

PAUL: (to the listeners)

Great! Oh deary me... Well, what could I do, listeners? I don't know what's going on here - but I just noticed that Gordon's still got his 2017 calendar up... Maybe they've lost track of time here and don't realise that they've missed Christmas... I think I'm just going to pretend that I didn't know either... I'm going to record the episode with them and YOU LOT are going to have to sit there and pretend that you think that it's just before Christmas too... Okay? OKAY! Good! Behave yourselves, won't you? I'm sure you will... Right... Without further ado - let's run the theme tune... (the theme tune begins)

SCENE 2

To be played right after the main theme music...

PAUL: (in a stage-y whisper)

Hello again listeners! Oh dear, what a pickle I've gotten myself into now! Oops... Here comes Gordon,.. Just play along won't you? Thanks... (turning back to his friend) Heeellllloooo, Gordon! Looking very festive... That white beard really suits you - although I'm not sure it'll really be of much use on the podcast - still, maybe we can take a photo of you to use as show art...

GORDON: (mumbling under the beard)

Mumble-mumble-mumble...

PAUL: (confused)

I beg your pardon?

GORDON: (pulling the beard aside slightly)

I'm sorry... I said, I'm sure it'll be just fine - it'll get me into a more Christmassy mood...

PAUL: (politely)

Yes, yes - indeed... Just make sure the listeners can hear what you're saying!

GORDON: (apologetically)

Mumble-mumble-mumble... I'm sorry... I said... Okay, boss!!

PAUL: (with genuine praise)

That's very good...

GORDON: (nervously excited)

So what are we going to do? Sing some carols maybe? Do a little dance? What do podcast listeners like to listen to at Christmas? I really have no idea myself - this is a completely different world for me!

PAUL: (sympathetically)

Why, of course? What is your typical Christmas - the doomier gloomier side, one presumes?

GORDON: (with regret)

You could say that! It's hard to cheer people up when at the same time you're carting them off to the grave - I mean, I do my best - throw in the odd one-liner here and there, but I think it would probably be fair to say that my audience is never exactly in the mood for whatever humorous line I'm trying to peddle...

PAUL: (sounding slightly pretentious)

Oh, I am sorry... A comedy genius is rarely appreciated in his or her time... There are many who are applauded whilst they're alive - but many don't deserve it and those of us who end up as the unwilling audience would really rather they just shrivelled up and went away...

GORDON: (lowering his voice, chuckling)

Naming no names, right? Are you still jealous that Deeley The Cat still gets all the best lines on your show?

PAUL: (trying not to sound hurt)

Please refrain from bringing that up - it still upsets me on occasion - but at least he IS family, so part of me is still very proud for all of his successes...

GORDON: (sounding impressed)

That album of Atomic Kitten cover versions that he released was surprisingly experimental...

PAUL: (in agreement)

Indeed... You're not wrong... I believe that the NME gave him a 4 star review...

GORDON: (reflecting happily)

Well deserved, I'd say... Aww... (ponders for a moment) Podcaster's cats are always just ESPECIALLY cute, I always think!

PAUL: (starting to sound impatient)

Yes, yes... I'm well aware of that...

GORDON: (continuing oblivious)

Cats are ALSO Christmassy...

PAUL: (curious)

How so?

GORDON: (clearly enjoying imagining this)

Dress them in tinsel and put a seasonably festive hat on their heads and you'll see what I mean!

PAUL: (delicately)

Fair enough - but I hadn't planned any Christmas cat activity for this episode... I'm afraid "Never work with yeti poets and crypt-keepers" tends to be their motto...

GORDON: (over-excited)

Aww... I think you made that last bit up... Oooh! I have cat-nip too... I'm wearing it in my false nose!

PAUL: (relieved)

That's a false nose? Well, that explains it... I didn't like to say just in case I was mistaken... Now listen... You go and put the kettle on and when you come back I will have a complete Christmas line-up for us - you'll need tea to keep your vocal-chords perky...

GORDON: (enthusiastic)

Well, I never... When I return I'll introduce you to Dolly like I promised...

PAUL: (sounding a little patronising)

FANTASTIC... Now run along...

GORDON:

I won't be five minutes... Well... Maybe five - after all the kettle takes at least 3 minutes to boil...

PAUL:

Sure! Sure... (mutters to the audience) Listeners, I still have no idea what we're going to do... Can't you suggest something? Let's delve into the archives or read a poem or something - give you a chance to think... Come on now - I'm depending on you!

SCENE 3

Midway through the episode - Gordon returns and this time he brings Dolly...

PAUL: (embarrassed, speaking only to the listeners)

Dear-oh-dear, listeners... I'm running out of time - I've still got no ideas for what we should record - especially not on a Christmas theme - and now here comes Gordon...

GORDON: (enthused)

Hello! Are you ready to start? Dolly will be here in a minute,,, I was thinking that maybe you could ask me what my favourite Christmassy things are - I know it sounds pretty ordinary - but nobody has probably ever asked that of a crypt-keeper - so it might even play out as a first!

PAUL: (relieved)

Ah! Indeed... Yes! What a good idea! Let's do that...

GORDON: (keenly)

Oh! Here comes Dolly... Dolly! Over here, me dear...

DOLLY: (bluntly)

Hello, boney - how's you? Oooh. Who's ya friend? Why's he all wrapped up, like? I mean it's cold - but it's not that cold...

PAUL: (lost for words)

I... err... well...

GORDON: (affectionately)

Dolly! You daft thing... That's not a coat - that's his fur... He's a yeti...

PAUL: (slightly annoyed)

I'd like to add that I am wearing clothes - they're just a little hidden... I'm not standing here topless, you know... What kind of hussy yeti do you take me for?

GORDON: (sincerely)

Apologies... Of course not... Ah yes... I see it now... What a lovely tank-top...

PAUL: (curtly)

It's actually a waistcoat - but thank you all the same...

DOLLY: (slightly suspiciously)

A yeti, aye... That's very modern of you... What made you want to be a yeti?

PAUL: (attempting not to sound too annoyed)

It was always my ambition - but being born one helped...

DOLLY: (speaking at him as if he's old and deaf)

Oh... He's quick... Funny too... I said you're funny, Mr Yeti... Quite the wit...

GORDON: (speaking amongst themselves as if he can't hear)

He is very amusing, isn't he?

DOLLY: (in half-hearted agreement)

I guess so... Nice shoes too...

GORDON: (enthused)

They are kind of swanky, aren't they?

PAUL: (trying his very hardest to sound flattered)

So very kind... Very nice to meet you, Dolly... Did you... err... want to take part in our Christmas episode too?

DOLLY: (not sounding exactly enthusiastic, but trying to be helpful)

Well, I can tap-dance - depends whether you've brought any taps with you... Hey? Hey? 

GORDON: (clearly quite enamoured)

Oh, Dolly... You're such a giggle... Isn't she such a giggle, Mr Yeti?

PAUL: (politely)

Yes! Yes! She's a scream... 

GORDON: (suddenly ready to perform)

Will we be starting soon?

PAUL: (taken a little bit off-guard)

What? Oh... Yes... Definitely... But... errr... What about a costume for Dolly? Do you have anything suitable ready prepared? This may be a podcast but we still need costumes and after all you've made such a splendid effort yourself!

GORDON: (slightly embarrassed by his own failure here)

Oh! I completely forgot! How stupid of me! Come on Dolly... We need to get you suited and booted - you'll be alright as an elf won't you? (Dolly just mutters - not fully replying) Oh - and of course - I also need to get the reindeer into position; I need them to practice their dance steps... You will wait for us, won't you, yeti?

PAUL: (politely/relieved)

Of course! Yes... Don't rush... (turning back to listeners) Blimey, listeners... I suppose I better scribble something down by way of a script... Why don't you listen to this next bit and I'll get my thinking hat on!

SCENE 4

Paul is back - he is trying to sound keen, but speaks to the listeners first... In the background we hear Gordon doing vocal warm-ups! (please record these sounds and I'll dub them behind my lines!)

PAUL: (hurriedly)

Hello listeners! Oh dear... What a mess I've got myself into here... Still... Let's just not worry too much about this and simply forge forward... Gordon and Dolly will be back in a minute and we've just got to embrace the whole Christmas spirit - even though it's months past Christmas... They don't seem to know that for some reasons... Oh well! Let them have their fun, right!? We'll sing some carols - jingle some bells and maybe crack open a few ho, ho, hos... Listen? That's him doing his vocal warm-ups... He's so enthusiastic... I can't let him down can I?

There is suddenly a noise - an ouch... Something has gone wrong with Gordon's vocal warm-ups...

(concerned) Oh dear! What's happened now? That doesn't sound too good... Oh, here comes Dolly - I'm sure she'll have an explanation...

DOLLY: (apologetically)

We've got a problem... He's got himself into a bit of a tizzy...

GORDON: (croaks)

I'm so sorry, yeti... It's me voice... I've gone and over-done it!

PAUL: (confused)

You did what? What's happened exactly?

DOLLY: (matter-of-factly)

As I say, he got himself over excited... He was doing his vocal exercises and got himself wound up in the tinsel and only went and swallowed a bauble...

PAUL: (concerned)

Good grief! Is he alright?!

DOLLY: (not exactly sounding convinced by her own words)

Oh... He'll be fine... Eventually...

GORDON: (weakly)

Maybe you could come back when I'm feeling better...

DOLLY: (sympathetic but insistent)

I don't think there will be time, Gordon... You have work responsibilities and... well.., Christmas is Christmas, isn't it? By the time you're feeling better it'll be after Christmas... Maybe you can be involved next time, aye!?

GORDON: (slightly embarrassed)

Oh... Yeti... One million apologies... One million and one apologies...

PAUL: (trying not to reveal how relieved he is)

Oh... Don't worry about it Gordon, old fella... We'll sort it out... You have to be careful with baubles in future - they're very easy to swallow...

DOLLY: (in complete agreement, bluntly)

When you've got a gob as big as his it is, that's for sure...

GORDON: (sounding harassed)

DOLLY!!

PAUL: (not sounding very keen)

Oh dear... I mean if you still want to join in Dolly then I'm sure Gordon could still rattle a tambourine...

DOLLY: (distant)

No... Sorry... I don't think so... Thanks but no thanks... I've got 17 pair of socks to knit for the local badger Kung-fu and cream tea consortium... I'll never get finished if I stand around gassing all afternoon...

PAUL: (distracted, we hear Gordon muttering in reply)

Oh... Dear... Well... Right... (turning to the listeners) Well, listeners - this is a fine pickle - but it may just have gotten me out of tricky situation... (turning back to Gordon) What a shame about all this - I'm so sorry, Gordon... Did you swallow the bauble right down or is it stuck down there somewhere? Really? Oh, dear... How awkward... Have you tried doing the Conga? No... But it might be worth trying - get things moving a bit - you might perhaps shift it... Listeners... It's probably best if you go and listen to something from the archives... I'll speak to you again at the end... Alright... Thank you! Enjoy!

Gordon doesn't sound too impressed - we move on...

SCENE 5

Paul has already said goodbye to the listeners and the end titles have played - this last scene appears right at the end...

PAUL: (apologetically)

Oh, hello again... I can't believe I let myself be dragged into discussing Christmas when we're far closer to Easter! Apologies... I do hope you enjoyed the episode anyway... Oh, by the way - Gordon coughed up the bauble and is doing fine... Oh... Here he comes... Gordon! Feeling better?!

GORDON: (still rather croaky)

A lot better now, yes thank you... I must admit I do feel a bit embarrassed about spoiling your Christmas episode... I presume you'll be able to go on without me - I just don't think I'm going to be well enough in time...

PAUL:

No... No... That's fine... I quite understand... 

GORDON:

Maybe another time?

PAUL: (trying to show some keenness)

What about the Summer Special - we could do something for that, maybe...

GORDON: (concerned)

Good plan! Yes! You will tell the listeners that I really did swallow a bauble, won't you? I wouldn't want them thinking that I was only pretending - this is the trouble with audio; nobody can completely trust that what you're saying is actually real...

PAUL: (winding up the conversation)

Especially when it's the news... It's all put together by a bunch of R.A.D.A. students with stuck on side-burns and party hats apparently - they just make it up as they go along... (Gordon makes a shocked WOW noise) Anyway! The listeners will understand... Listen now, I better get on - I'll be in touch about some kind of future collaboration... Give my best wishes to Dolly... She's okay, I trust?

GORDON: (sounding slightly horrified)

She's okay - she's just spin-drying the Christmas decorations... We couldn't remember which of the baubles that I swallowed - it was just better to wash the whole lot of them...

PAUL: (trying not to sound too impatient)

Oh yes... I guess so... Well, now... We'll be in touch!

GORDON: (enthusiastic)

Excellent yeti... Happy Christmas...

PAUL: (keen, then with voice lowered)

Err, yeah... Happy Christmas... (turning back to the listeners) Well, listeners... It was nice to catch up with him anyway... I'm sure we'll see him again...

DOLLY RETURNS...

DOLLY: (her voice also lowered)

Has he gone?

GORDON: (confirming, his voice also lowered)

He's gone, yes indeed...

DOLLY: (hopeful)

So we don't have to keep pretending that we think it's Christmas...

GORDON: (relieved)

No, thank goodness... Poor fellow... I blame it on all those podcast episodes that he produces - it addles him...

DOLLY: (with regret)

Must do... It's understandable... Ah well... Hey... You don't think the listeners are still listening do you?

GORDON: (confident)

No... They'll have left when he did...

DOLLY:

Do you think? (pauses)

GORDON:

Hello? Listeners? (pauses) Nah... They've gone...

DOLLY: (perking up)

Time for a nice cup of tea then...

GORDON: (in agreement)

Splendid...

DOLLY: (slightly impatient)

Well, hurry up then...

GORDON: (apologetic)

Oh... Sorry... Bauble-injury... No, no... I'm fine...

DOLLY:

Hmm...

This script was written between Wednesday 3rd and Thursday 25th January 2018, with revisions made between 30th January and 6th March 2018.

SHY LIFE PODCAST SHOWS - COMING SOON!!

It's May already - and THE SHY LIFE PODCAST reaches its 2nd birthday in a few weeks time... We're off on two overseas trips this month - but meanwhile here are some of the shows that we'll be releasing!

168. The Most Delicious Book That Ever There Was

In which we finally learn what caused Ikk to get so sick at the beginning of the year...

169. Live Pride48 Show - May 2018

A week earlier than usual and Mr Yeti fits in a quick live show between two holidays! Thanks yeti!

170. A Poetry Anniversary

Last week I also recorded most of an episode that mentions the 2nd anniversary - but also celebrates 10 years of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008).

171. 1987 Is Full Of Songs

Paul and Nick discuss the music of 1987 and compare what was big in the UK with what was big in the US!

172. Yeti Uncle John's Leaving Party

Yeti Uncle John prepares for his new job in outer space - but some of the regulars are concerned by what lies in store for their old friend...

173. Call Me By Pie Name

Paul recalls when Charlie Grrr almost married a pie that he had become besotted with - but sometimes love does not win out...

174. Copenhagen Episode

Find out what Mr Yeti got up to whilst in Copenhagen in early May.

175. Digging Into Unheard Of Places

Paul digs through the archives to find a few interesting conversations that never made it onto shows.

176. Return Of The Brompton Time Machine

This one has also brewing for quite some time - in fact I started work on it when we lasted visited Brompton Cemetery in early January 2017 and then recorded scenes with a number of guests throughout 2017; finally I'm ready to release it!

177. A Call-Back From A Far-Off Place

Flashback Episode. Paul falls for a trick which leads him to a far off place and meets an old nemesis... or two!

178 + 179. Pride48 Live Show - June 2018 + Live Streaming Event - June 2018

These two will be released around the same time - there may be one other show in-between; we'll see.

180. The Return Of Dameus The Interviewer

Dameus interviews all manner of podcasting celebrities as part of his return to the chat-show circuit.

181. Radios and Reminiscences

Whilst Paul heads back onto local radio - Cromitty has picked out some more SUTTON PARK clips.

182. Marseille Episode

Find out what Mr Yeti got up to whilst in Marseille in late May.

Additionally:

### Re-connecting With The Past

Paul catches up with Cromitty and Martin and is excited to learn that Cuthbert has a few added advances that makes it possible to re-connect with the past via old episodes of SUTTON PARK... Ikk is slightly doubtful about it all - but he and Paul soon get to experience the process first-hand.

### Bettina and the robot butler

This episode sees Paul visiting Bettina only to find out that the house has recently become robotically automated; also Wifey Jo play a card game with Cuthbert.

### The Great Bingo Scam

Someone is rigging the bingo so that they win - is it one of the regulars or someone more sinister?

### The Halloween Episode 2018

Paul and the gang find that celebrating Halloween is harder than usual in 2018.

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2018.